Turning Pages- Carina DeLuca

Too Late To Say Sorry

When Maya woke up that morning, she found her wife still asleep, snoring softly. It made her happy to see Carina had gotten some sleep without nightmares, but it made her sad that she had to be drunk to do so. Trying not to disturb her wife, she got out of bed quietly and went to the bathroom. As soon as she finished, she went to the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee before settling down at the table.

"Crap, I'm gonna be late for work." She heard Andrew say as he stumbled into the kitchen after coming out of his room.

"Please don't wake your sister up. She's actually sleeping." Maya whispered. She needed some time alone. After everything that had happened, Maya needed to decompress. In everything she had ever heard about sexual assault, she never heard about how it affects the people who love them. There was no mention of how Maya was supposed to watch her wife recover from what was undoubtedly the worst experience of her life.

"I assume you needed a few minutes before she wakes up?" Andrew concluded, but he hardly blamed her. Seeing his sister like this was torture for him as well. Since society had labeled men as not supposed to show weakness, he didn't show his feelings.

"That makes me a terrible person, doesn't it?" Maya asked as she stared at the coffee cup in front of her for a moment before looking at him.

Andrew shook his head. "No, it doesn't. It doesn't mean that you don't love her, but you're allowed to have feelings, too. You're allowed to take a few minutes to yourself before she gets up. It doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human." He responded. "I have to go but if you ever need anything from me, even if you just wanna talk, I can't promise that I'll be helpful, but I'll listen."

"Thank you." Maya smiled softly. "I just wish that things would go back to how they were a few days ago, when everything was perfect." Andrew smiled softly at her, silently wishing the same to her.

After he left, Maya finished her coffee and decided to take a shower. Before heading to the bathroom, she snuck back into the bedroom and grabbed an outfit. Once she stepped into the shower, she closed her eyes for a moment as the water rolled down her back. She couldn't control the tears that were flowing. It was true what she said. She wished with all her heart that she could rewind the last few days. Although she knew no one could give her the answer, she still asked herself why? How could something like this happen to her wife, who was simply doing her job?

When she looked up at the shower head, she let the water hit her face and blew out a breath as she ran her hand over it. Carina was a shell of her former self and Maya hoped that with therapy and patience, she would eventually recover. She hoped Carina would come back to her. It wouldn't matter to her whether she was the same or not, she would love her anyway. But she just wanted some relief for her wife. She checked on Carina briefly after her shower before settling down on the couch and turning on the television to wait for her to wake up.

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"Hello, sleepyhead." Maya greeted with a smile, watching Carina rub her eyes as she entered the living room. "How are you?" She asked as Carina sat down next to her, placing her head on her shoulder.

"Surprisingly, I feel fine. How bad did I get?" Carina wondered, unsure whether she really wanted to know. She couldn't remember anything that happened after they got home. Nevertheless, she remembered everything else, much to her dismay.

"Honestly, you weren't all that bad. Although, you did mention skydiving and quitting your job to become a housekeeper." Maya laughed as she remembered. "I actually found it funny. I definitely needed that laugh."

"Definitely the alcohol." Carina laughed lightly. "But quitting my job sounds appealing." She shrugged.

"We both know you wouldn't do that. You love your job too much to leave." Maya pointed out, running her fingers through her wife's hair gently.