RAGE (BWWM)

37

"Camila," Amira sighed.

"I'm serious, fuck him. You're like the sweetest, most mature, and unproblematic person I know, and if he doesn't see that, then good riddance. You don't need him—not his big dick, his abs, or his baggage. The fuck."

"See that's the problem with men now. They always take a good woman for granted, and then..."

Amira ignored Camila as she started ranting about how men are no good, and how they don't deserve pussy. Amira only let Camila spout curses and practically shit on Rowan's character because, deep down, it felt good to have someone vouch for her and be angry in her stead. Although Amira was hurt by how Rowan left things, she didn't have it in her to be nasty or to say cruel things about him.

He did nothing but treat her with respect the entire time they were together. He truly made her feel special—he made her reevaluate what she knew about confidence, he gave her opportunities to step outside her comfort zone, and she even got a glimpse of what it was like to be bold and fearless. And on top of all that, he showered her with gifts, was her personal chauffeur, and always made her feel safe while in his presence. He was like a dream to her.

One could say that Amira shouldn't have pressed Rowan for answers or that Rowan shouldn't have been a hypocrite and just talked to her. But either way, both of them could share some blame for what happened. Amira, for one, knew this, and that's why she refused to forget all the good that happened before things took an unfortunate turn.

Camila ended up staying with Amira for a while. They ordered pizza and watched a few movies before Camila headed home.
.....

A few more days went by, and Amira felt a little less optimistic about where she and Rowan stood. She called her mom, and they talked about where Amira was at mentally. They had a long discussion, one they planned on continuing at dinner tonight. And Amira was eager to see her mom and have a nice home-cooked meal.

"How did you say he reacted again? Was he shocked, upset, confused..."

"I don't know. So much was happening, and too many factors could've impacted his reaction—or lack of it. But he definitely looked in distress or maybe uncomfortable. I had never seen him like that before, so I partly felt bad for him. And I'm not trying to make excuses for him, but he did seem to be overwhelmed for the few seconds he let his emotions show. Then he went blank," Amira sighed, setting her fork down.

"And after all that, you said he sent you a message saying he just needed time?" Her mother questioned.

"Well, Rowan said he needed to think, which he had already told me before he sent that message. I just interpreted him saying he needed to think as him asking me to give him some space to do so. But now I can't help but think Rowan just didn't trust me enough to open up."

"Don't say that, Amira. I thought you said he cares about you?"

"Yes, but I'm not even sure what that means anymore; he seems incapable of caring for someone. And if he truly cared, he would've reached out by now. Why else would he just distance himself like that—sending me one measly text in response?"

"But the fact that he was even experiencing such strong emotions shows he does care. It seems you stunned him, Amira. Maybe he genuinely didn't know what to say in the moment, and he thought saying nothing was better than saying the wrong thing. It has to be deeper than just him refusing to open up because he didn't trust you. I've never met the man and that still doesn't sound right to me."

"I guess," Amira shrugged.

"But I do find it silly that we're sitting here trying to interpret a grown man's words," her mother added, grumbling a bit.