Chapter Five: Sirens & Limos

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Everybody has a fear. Everybody has an insecurity that they wish they could change about themselves. I do all the time, but then there are things in your life you believe and don't believe; your parents are supposed to bring you up and let you pick your beliefs. My mother was like that; she never forced me to be Catholic or Christian. I chose Buddhism at one point in my life. a part of me still believes in that, but another part of me is more spiritual. I don't think my mom chose any type of belief; my mother is more spiritual, and that's where I get my spiritual side from. my mother always told me that my brothers and I have gifts; some of us in the family might not get them, and some of us would; my brother Bryon and I were gifted, and Bryon can see into the future.

Bryon has dreams of different things happening, kind of like Notre Dameus, but his way in the future aspect he told me my future looks bright. He saw me have two kids and have a red Jeep, told me I wrote a children's book, and that I was a pothead the funny thing is I don't smoke weed anymore, but he definitely does. Something in his mind, he wishes I smoked again because he and I used to have the best times together.

Another funny thing is my grandma had that gift too she would dream of my mom and what would happen in her life; my grandma usually warned my mother of things that were going to happen my mom was skeptical she never always wanted to believe everything that my grandma said they always fought back-and-forth all the time, but certain things were always true. My mother had a gift of seeing people's auras and feeling people's emotions, even though hers were always so daunting to others. Unfortunately, I got hit with all the gifts; I don't call it superpowers because people think you're crazy. nowadays, you can tell people, "I see dead people" or "I talk to dead people," and it's completely normal because there are mediums that see and talk to them, so we call them gifts. I know things before anybody else did in their lives spirits whisper to me and tell me things, and I can see people's auras the second I walk into a room, and that's how I always knew to stay away from them; people always thought I was just staring at them to be rude. In reality, I was just trying to get the color of their aura to ensure they were okay. I don't know how many times I've gotten yelled at by people asking me why I stared at them, it's a gift I never wanted, but I'm blessed to have it.

When my family and I hear sirens or if we see limos, depending on the color, black or white, that usually means new beginnings or endings. But when we saw a hurst, we knew someone was going to die in the family, or somebody was going to get sick. And 98% of the time, it was always correct. My mom's siblings died before her. It's just my uncle Gilbert, who's alive now, and so is my mom, obviously. I never liked sirens; they bring back lousy juju, I assumed someone was dying, and I hate the thought of other people dying because death is something I don't want to mess with; you can cheat death for so long, but eventually, it will catch up to you. I hated it. 

I never asked to have these gifts, I've never asked for many things that have happened to me.

People like to tell me that you pick your family before they even conceive you. I think that's bullshit; you are literally in your dad's FUCKING balls. If you're lucky enough, you're the fucking fastest one to get to the egg. Does it look like I chose it? Fuck no. I just thought I was the fastest. If I picked my family, I would've picked a family that was fucking rich, and I'm not saying I don't like my life now; I just wish I picked a family that had more going for them rather than the family I have now. It might sound really fucking rude, but that's just how I feel; welcome to my thoughts.

Everybody has different beliefs and different things they trust. I don't know really where I stand sometimes, but I do believe that we do get reincarnated; I do believe everybody has their own little piece of heaven somewhere when they pass.. it's okay with whatever you believe, and if you have gifts, you are either blessed or cursed it's; however, you want to take it, sometimes you have to question yourself am I really who I am? or have I figured my self out yet? I would say there's no rush to live; take it day by day, little steps only, because the more you overstep, the more you are likely to trip.

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