The Singer (Lady Gaga x Reader) [ON HIATUS]

20

The next days in Stockholm are great and Paris is amazing as well. I feel like I am my full self again after not being able to perform the way I used to.

When we're done in Arnhem in three days, Y/n is gonna head to Canada and I don't know if I like it or not. She has been kind of distant the past three days and I don't know why. All that I know is that she has been having calls with Danielle over these past few days and I have a feeling that there is a connection between her mood and those calls.

Other than being a bit distant, Y/n is glowing. She went to a few sports clubs and did different projects with the kids and teenagers and it is beautiful to see her thriving like this.

"Y/n, baby. Are you okay?" I ask her as I enter the bathroom of our hotel room, to see her sitting on the ground, head leaning back against the wall. She's curled up on the floor, hugging her knees. I crouch down in front of her and try addressing her again, but she seems to be in some sort of trance.

I know how difficult it can be to get people out of these states, you need to be careful not to hurt them and not scare them so they might hurt you. I carefully reach for her face, cupping it with my hands. I feel her relax into my touch a bit and it feels like she's out of the trance she was in, but now her breathing is getting faster and she's tensing up again.

"Y/n? Y/n? Can you hear me?" I ask her, trying to stay as calm as possible. "Okay, Y/n listen to me. I think you are having a panic attack. But you can get through this, alright?" I tell her. I have done grounding techniques for myself when I got anxious, so I hope this works on her as well.

"Alright, Y/n can you tell me five things you can see?" Her breathing is still fast and shaky. "T-the s-sink. The sh-shower. Floor. M-mirror. You." She replies, staring into nothing. "Okay, now four things you can touch." I encourage her.

"Wall. F-floor. My, my pants. You." Her breathing is starting to get slower and answering starts taking less effort. "You're doing great, Y/n. Now three things you can hear."

"My... heart. My voice. Y-you." She replies and I take her hands in mine. "Almost there, two things you can smell."

"Your perfume. Your... shampoo." I smile. "Perfect, baby. Now one last thing that you can taste." Her breathing is heavy but almost back to a normal tempo. "Tears."

Just as the word leaves her lips, she fully relaxes her body, letting go of her knees. I rush to sit next to her as she is starting to drop to the side. I pull her upper body close to me, feeling the cold marble of the wall and floor against my skin.

I don't say anything for a few moments as I feel her tears creating wet spots on my shirt. I just hold her close and let her know I am there for her.

When the sobs eventually stop, I help her up to get her to bed. "I'm sorry." Is the last thing she breathes out before falling asleep as I hold her. "Don't be. I'm here for you." I tell her. I stay awake most of that night, just holding Y/n close.

When I wake up the next morning, Y/n is gone. However, there is a note on my nightstand. I'm at the gym, I'll be back at 11. Love Y/n it reads. It's already ten forty-five, so there would be no use going after her.

I decide to start getting ready for the day, as I'm in the bathroom, I check my phone. I don't know why but I have a DM from Danielle on my Instagram.

Hi Stefani. Or Gaga? Whichever you prefer. Is Y/n okay? She hasn't been answering my texts or calls. Okay, so there is something severely wrong.

Hey Danielle. Stefani is totally fine. She had a panic attack last night, and when I woke up today, she was gone. Is there anything I should know? I text back. Well, it's great that I'm not the only one worrying about her.

I'm afraid I'm not in the place to tell you. She should tell you herself.

Thank you either way. I'll let you know if I know more. Okay, I never thought I would be texting with Y/n's ex. But I also never thought she just disappears if something was obviously not right.

This whole thing is a mystery to me as of now and I don't think I like it.

I hear the door open and close again. Y/n has come back, she's all sweaty. "Hi." She greets me as if nothing happened last night. "Hi," I reply, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed. She walks over to me and kisses my lips.

"Is everything alright?" She asks me, looking at me confused. "Is everything alright?!" I repeat her question. "It seems like it's not. Or why have I gotten messages from your ex, telling me that you haven't been answering her texts? She's apparently as worried as I am and after last night, I don't know how you can act like nothing happened!" My voice is louder than I initially wanted it to be.

"Why are you-? You know what. I don't even wanna know what she told you. I'm perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong. Everybody has a bad day once in a while. Remember when you casually stopped by at the hospital last month?" She accuses me. "Oh, so now it's about me? Alright. You wanna know how I feel? I am worried, Y/n! You had a panic attack last night! It felt like you were falling into pieces in my arms, you cried yourself into sleep for god's sake!" I yell.

"Oh, so you're the one who's worried?!" She fights back. "Do you know how hard it is being me?! After the Olympics, I got even more hate messages than before, alright?! And as if that wasn't enough already, your delightful ex-boyfriend Michael has been texting me. And it takes every ounce of strength in my body to not fly over to his house and fucking kill him, alright?! I know what he did to you and I know that he hurt you and now that he is hurting me, I have yet another reason to make sure he never gets to hurt anyone ever again!"

Wow, so this is our first major argument. And it's about something so stupid! Why are we even fighting?

A/N As much as I do not like writing fights and angsty things, this was quite fun to write. Can any of you guess why Y/n is acting like this??

Love y'all

-L