𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖘 - 𝖂𝖊𝖉𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖉𝖆𝖞 𝕬𝖉𝖉𝖆𝖒𝖘

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓

"I'm nobody! Who are you? Are you nobody, too?" - Emily Dickinson

When she kissed me I realised, I had been numb my whole life. Just waiting for the touch of warmth. Ever since the kiss, the only sweetness I crave is the one that comes from her lips.

I open the door to my dorm, feeling euphoric. Zella looks over to me, furrowing her eyebrows at my happiness.

"Okay, I'm concerned. Are you high?" she inquires, walking over to me.

"Wednesday kissed me," I marvel, still shocked that it even happened. I never expected in a million years, that Wednesday would kiss me.

A kiss is a moment that has no methapor, it's either beautiful or it's not, and no amount of poetic bullshit will turn a bad one to passion. This was a beautiful kiss, one that couldn't be refined, one that couldn't damaged. I don't know what she may think of it, I hope she didn't think it was a mistake. She was the one to kiss me first, after all.

Zella looks at me with wide eyes, she looks shocked. I think she's happy for me, we never had one of those cousin rivalries, some other cousins had. We are always happy for eachother.

"Wow," she goes to grab two blunts, putting one in her mouth to light it. She walks over, putting one in my hand. "So, she kissed you?"

"Yeah," I sit down on her desk chair, grabbing the lighter out of her hands, lighting the blunt and taking a puff.

She takes a puff and exhales the smoke, grinning. "Xavier owes me so much money," I exhale the smoke, looking at her annoyed, she notices. "What you and your lover girl, were looking at each other with puppy eyes, since she arrived."

The rest of the night, we talked about the poe cup. Zella wasn't allowed to participate anymore, because of her recent concussion.

I walk out onto the balcony looking at the stars, taking a hit from my joint. The stars are beautiful tonight. They are shining so brightly, and the moon is so beautiful too. 

I smile and look down at my lap, taking another puff. I don't feel like I need joints and cigarettes and alcohol anymore. I feel happy, I feel euphoric. I have been cured, I throw the joint away. I don't need it anymore, I don't feel the need to have another puff of a cigarette, I don't need another sip of alcohol. 

Nothing.

It's not my way of coping anymore.

★★★

It's the day of the poe cup. I still need to tell Rissa, if I want to go back to therapy or not and Zella needs to go to the police station to make a statement about her attack. My aunt and uncle had arrived early this morning, at 4 AM. They would be going with her and coming back, in time for the Poe Cup.

I walk into Weems' office, knocking first to find her sitting at her desk chair, behind her laptop. She looks up, smiling at me.

"Lily, are you here about starting therapy again?" she asks, hopful about me starting to go to therapy again.

"Yes, I don't really want to start with therapy again," I retort. She sighs, dissapointed.

"I don't think you have an option anymore."

"Why?"

"After yesterdays situation, I think the best idea is start your weekly therapy sessions again. Dr. Kinbott agrees with me."

"Okay, I guess." 

I begrudgingly walk out of her office, closing the door behind me.

★★★

I walk out the tent in my costume, it's extremely uncomfortable and tight. My combat boots squeaking a bit, while walking through the field. Zella shows up beside me.

"Excited?"

"Not really."