Mine

-36-

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"I am so sorry , I mean if you want , you can take the bed I can sleep on the sofa" She said and I looked at her and sighed , I walked towards her and forced her down from the shoulders .

"Sleep on the bed . I am fine on the sofa , moreover it's a convertible so its fine and big enough for me to sleep in"

"I am just worried it'll be uncomfortable"

"It won't don't worry" I reassured her and made her lay down and covered her with the blankets. I stroked her hair and said "Good night" and walked back to the couch and got under the covers myself.

It was nice
It was nice falling asleep to watch her stare at me as she slowly dozed off .
It was nice not sleeping and just watching her sleep .
It was nice seeing her at peace after all the chaos that happens around her
All the things she said , running through my head as I saw her sleeping.
Maybe god really does make mistakes sometimes .

How could he let so much pain in her life after all she has done for others?

This girl , she deserves all the stars in the sky, being alone with her , is when I realise that all those smiles and laughs are just a lie .
She's broken , she always had been . All her feelings are in spin . She doesn't know what she should do and what she should not.
She is always afraid at every second that people will leave . Maybe that's what she believes .
Let me have her and I will treat her like queen, I will let her lean on me , for all the highs and for all the lows . Just let me have her once and I'll treat her like a queen .

(I am proud of this poem)

I saw her lips trembling , I sat up confused if it's a bad dream . But then she abruptly opens her eyes , her breathing was rapid , and she looked at me with fear in her eyes . I got up , but then I saw her eyes traveling from the side drawer then back to me ,she gulped . And for a minute I had a thought , the pocket knife that I used to hurt myself with was always in the bed side drawer .

My eyes grew wide as the realisation hit me . I sprinted for the drawer but she got to it first as I slipped on the mat she took the knife out from the drawer but I was quick enough to hold her back .

"Don't do it"

"Please just this once"

"No y/n don't do it , you promised your friends" as soon as I said it she stopped fighting back and looked me in the eyes , her lips curled and her eyes got teary .

"I want to get rid of the pain. Pleasee" She cried as she leaned forward on my chest.

"Pleasee" She cried as I patted her back .

"Should I tell you another way , to reduce the pain ?"I ask her and she stops soobing and looks at me .

"Do you have a rubber band? The actual rubber one not the cotton one" I ask her and she nods and points at the dressing table .

I stand up and walk towards the dressing table , I try finding it and I did in one of the small boxes . I walk back f
to the bed , and put my palm flat in front of her "Cmon hand over the knife" I said and she gulped and handed me the knife , I keep it in my pocket and reached for her wrist , I put the rubber band on her wist and pull it from one end and then let it lose .

"Ouch" She said and starts rubbing her wrist.

"From my observation, you hurt yourself because-first) You're angry and you blame yourself for what happened and when you're angry you don't know what you're doing , basically you're subconscious, second) you actually wanna hurt yourself because you want to get rid of that pain you get from watching those nightmares , so you hurt yourself because then you have the cuts to worry about and you forget about the pain from nightmares" I explained and she nods "Whenever you are angry or want to hurt yourself just pull this rubber hand , do it more than 5 times and the pain is equivalent to the cuts . It hurts that bad" I say and she chuckled .

"You want to go back to sleep or should we pull an all nighter ?" I ask and her smile drops "I am sacred going back to sleep" .

"All nighter it is . Take some time , I'll go prepare coffee" I said as she smiled and I stood up and turned around to walk away but she held my wrist as I turned back "Thankyou , I don't know what I'd be able to do without you" She said and I smiled "No need , that's what friends are for" I smiled as I walked away .

(Author's Note : Some people might think that this shit never happens , and I am not talking about the cutting of wrists but I am talking about the nightmares , let me tell you something if your traumatic dreams were on a pause for a while and then something happens which triggers the memories , or you meet someone who trigger those memories , the nightmares might start again . And I am literally telling you this because a friend read my fanfic specially the last chapter and she went "That doesn't happen , how can someone trigger nightmares" and I was literally staring at her and I said it on her face "Didn't know a person who is in college doesn't know about this stuff and can be this dumb" , kind of regret saying it on the face (I am too blunt) . But this actually happens , the triggering of nightmares and I can assure you because it's something I and one of my cousins went through . And also all those times when Y/N flinched when one of the TXT member , it happens when you're kind of scared of loud noises either because of your past or just in general because they disturb you . So just a reminder the things told in the fanfiction regarding mental health is actually all true . And this fanfiction was made to raise awareness on mental health to all those people who read this . So please be patient because i know we are 36 chapters in and there is no romance but for now i am making sure that you all understand that getting close as friends is more important before getting in a relationship . And don't worry I have a time skip planned)

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