Even After Everything (After #1) (COMPLETED)

20: Marco

Seb? Seb Johan... likes me?

There's no way on earth that's possible. My brain gave so many reason as to it's literally impractical and unthinkable: first, we're both men! How many time have I seen couples that are both genders, huh? None! Second, we're in the same band! How could he allow himself to turn like that when we're just supposed to be bros for life?

So many things ran inside my head... so many absurd inclinations have been made but... but the emotion I'm expecting to process didn't arrive. Instead, my heart swells and up till now, it makes me tear up. Not because of anguish, but joy.

I've been staring at myself for so long now that... that my face don't register to my head anymore. This face... this human being... this breathing primate that's starimg back at me... caught Seb's eye and had fallen for him?

Ilang beses ko nang tinanong sa sarili iyon but all I'm getting was the same: still questioning myself why.

It's been two days since... since he caught Vincent and I in the office, unfortunately, kissing each other. I had a bad feeling already to bring Vincent in there and if I just heed to that, this wouldn't happen... Hindi sana kami nagkasakitan... nagka-iyakan at nagka-aminan.

But I'm torn about it. A part of me abhors Vincent for pulling that stunt joke that completely puts my existence in danger if somebody walked in and witnessed us in that position! Yet if he didn't do that... and Seb hasn't found us like... like a couple who's doing normal things...

Seb wouldn't confess and let me know what he really feels.

Goddamn. Halos nagpagulong-gulong ako sa kama dahil hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili. Dapat... dapat magalit ako nang malaman ko iyon yet I cannot bring myself to upset someone who's clearly and freshly just admitted he adores me! Dapat pinigilan ko na siya kaagad at sabihin na itapon sa malayo ang nararamdaman dahil wala siyang mapapala pero...

Hindi, eh... Sa totoo nga... nabawasan pa ang bigat ng dibdib ko. I was astounded when he confided me with that but I remember how... how I almost floated from happiness when he became so vulnerable and honest in front of me. The fact I've never seen him cry and that straightforward? There's enough reason I should believe it's just bluff but no...

If there's one thing Seb needs to do in this life, it is to lie.

And I don't think he did that; I've felt his heart joined mine as soon as those words left his mouth and I heard a sound that felt like a missing piece finally completed me.

Though... we're still not talking up till now. Seb left after confessing... embarrassed or hurt... I don't know... But I want to give him time... Because I need time to process what the fuck just happened.

Vincent: I'm willing to compensate.

Mabilis akong nagtipa nang makita iyon. "Fuck off. You put me in a lion's cage. I wouldn't talk to you for months if he tells anyone."

Hindi ko na sana papansinin iyon dahil noong isang araw pa siya humihingi ng sorry. See, after Seb left, I left the building, too. Si Vincent ang may kotse nang pumunta kami room but I took a cab to escape him. Still feeling drunk with the confession, the escape I've made was all because of fear and regret that off all people who could see us there... why Seb?

And I wonder what he's thinking now... He mentioned so many times he wouldn't tell anyone and I believed him for that pero... Fuck... It took a while to abate the elation I've felt and got replaced quickly by how he'd perceive what he'd just witness.

Yes... He may had confessed he liked me but probably in his mind now... It's worthless because... I've kissed someone else!

If only... If only I've got the courage to hit him up and clear things out...