Chapter 19- Shower Sex and the Past

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Alison's POV

I cannot believe I was a virgin before I met Emily. I'm really glad that my first time was with her. Em seems to know exactly where it feels good. Within minutes of getting in the shower Emily is already pleasuring me with her tongue. I pretend not to care as I continue to shampoo my hair. But then Emily hits my sweet spot, and my muscles clench. I feel the heat in my body rise as Em moves her wet tongue over my clit. Em looks up at me with a grin and rubs at my clit. It's her smile that drives me over the edge as I feel my muscles give 5 quick clenches and I cum in the shower.

Satisfied with herself, Em gets off the ground and brings her lips to mine. They crash together with just as much passion and love as they did on the first day we kissed. Even though I kiss her everyday I still feel the fireworks exploding in my stomach. She pushes me up against the shower wall and I open my mouth to let her in. Em looks so fucking sexy with the water flowing down her body. As we kiss I bring my hand to her centre and touch her softly. Em just moans my name and kisses me harder.

*

After our bit of fun in the shower and we sit on Emily's couch, I know I have to confront Emily about what Hanna told me in the school bathrooms. I've always been curious so I blurt out, "Em, that day when Hanna and I went to the bathroom together. She-"

Emily cuts me off, "What the fuck did she tell you?" Realising that she was being rude, Emily says, "Sorry. Um what did she say?"

I gulp. Emily could be such a bitch sometimes. "Hanna said that there was a reason why you were such a troublemaker and so... hostile. She also said that you were fragile behind it all."

"That's the past," Emily states, clearly hiding something.

I am not giving up though. I stubbornly say, "I'm your girlfriend Em. I deserve to know."

Emily begins talking softly, "Ali... to tell you the truth..." She begins to break down and the tears fall from her face. Whatever this secret is, it must be pretty serious otherwise the tough Emily wouldn't be crying. I didn't know that it was such a big secret. "You don't have to tell me Emily. You don't have to tell me anything," I whisper to her. Even though I want to know, if it hurt Em so much, I can wait.

She leans towards me and rests her head on my shoulder. Her body was shaking. I never expected Emily to be so vulnerable. She is meant to be perfect and strong and confident. She is meant to be queen bee and a troublemaker. Emily isn't meant to be this vulnerable mess.

"No Ali, I want to tell you. I haven't told anyone other than Hanna. The truth is... I was abused by my mum. I was the result of an affair that my mum had with another guy. He ditched and my mum only had me to blame and so I was basically a punching bag for her. You don't understand how much it changed me. That's why I get into so many fights and that's when I started smoking. I ran away. Hanna's family's loaded so they took me in but then they had to move to LA because of Hanna's brother. So they got a house for Hanna and me to live in until we graduate. That's why we're so close."

It seems to all make sense now. The way she acted, how Emily had meaningless one night stands every Saturday. It makes sense and I feel bad that I had ever judged her for how she acted when really, it was just a way for her to cope with her pain. I think it was just easier that way for her. It was easier to hate than to love. No pain. No fear. No desire. Nothing. That's why Emily was a bitch to everyone. She had been hurt once already and she didn't have the courage to try again. How could she? Your mum was meant to be the role model of your life and always be there for you. No wonder Emily had been so hurt.

"It's okay Emily. I can't possible understand what you're feeling right now but I'm here for you," I tell her softly and truthfully. I would be there for her. Emily had been such a bitch to me- to everyone- before but it was all reasonable. She has changed now and she has opened up to me. She is so flawed but she is beautiful and I will keep her safe. Emily looks into my eyes and for the first time instead of seeing hostility and a badass, I see her for what she is- a vulnerable human being.

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