BEST SERVED COLD

22

Abel flies out of my way but not in time before I get to slash through his sweater and bruise his forearm. He hisses in pain. I regret immediately my actions because of the horrified glare he sends my way. My eyes fill with tears. I didn't want to hurt him but when the topic of my kidnapping is mentioned, I just get this overwhelming urge to protect myself from the memories and usually, I do it in the most brutal way.

The knife trembles in my hold. Abel knocks it out so fast that I don't even see it coming. My sole weapon falls far away from me with a clang.

"Did you just use a knife on me?!" He yells.

Abel has never appeared angrier, not even when I first got him in his cage.

"What is wrong with you, Carla? All I do is try to understand you, give you a chance...But why the fuck do you have to make it so difficult?"

I don't like to be screamed at. The darkness is starting to creep inside me, growing in strength. It's the way I usually get when I feel threatened and it can't mean anything good for Abel. I start to walk away from him but he follows me to the living room.

"What is it that you're trying to hide? I deserve to know because you stole my freedom. The least you can do is tell me why, Carla."

"Leave!" I yell back at him. "You don't give a shit about me anyway. You freed yourself so get the fuck out and find your freedom again."

This plan isn't working out anyway. I failed at controlling Abel the way I wanted to. Now, he's the one holding all the power. He pretends that he cares about me but I don't see why he's keeping up with his act when he can just walk out of the door right now.

I want him to leave because I'm sinking deeper into a dark space. I don't want him to witness this. Abel, oblivious to my struggles, grabs me by the arm and turns me around. All I see is his fingers painfully squeezing my flesh and keeping me from running away.

"I'm not going anywhere, Carla." He says forcefully. "You need help."

I glare at him with rage. Who is he to tell me that I need help? Maybe it's the truth within his words that angers me so much. I free my arm and slap him hard. Abel holds his cheek with wide eyes. I can see his skin turning crimson red between his fingers.

This should have pushed him away for good but I forgot that Abel actually enjoys pain. He only massages his cheek, seemingly more determined than ever.

"Why are you being so mean, uhm?" He asks. "Who hurt you, Carla?"

I look around, my eyes falling on the vase sitting on the coffee table. I run for it, holding it like a weapon between Abel and me.

"I swear that I'm going to hurt you if you don't leave right now."

I back away as he keeps coming forward, not the least phased by my threats. There's a flash of memory in my mind. I see a different man standing in Abel's place. He has a nasty grin on his face, daring me to hurt him.

What are you going to do with that Carla? You know you don't have the courage.

I want to prove him wrong so bad. I'm sick of living under this trauma. The wall is only a few steps behind me. I smash the vase against it before pointing the shards at Abel again. Except that I'm not seeing him anymore. The sight of my sworn enemy blinds my vision.

Using the last bit of courage within me, I go after him again, using the broken vase as a weapon. He raises his hand, moving out of my way but I keep chasing him.

"Carla, stop!"

Why stop? I must end this now. I've suffered enough in his hands. I can't stand it any longer. He stumbles against the sofa behind him. I finally get close enough to stab him. There's a loud groan.

When I look up, Abel's gray eyes are staring back at me. I gasp and drop the blood stained vase. He holds his side, blood spreading quickly over his sweater.

"Oh my God, Abel..."

I want to rush and help him but I can't even get my feet to move right now. What have I done? Is he going to bleed to death in my living room?

"I d-didn't mean to..." I say to no one in particular.

Little drops of blood start to taint my floor. I know I should help him. A voice in the back of my mind is begging me to call an ambulance or at least check his wound but instead, I take a few steps away from him.

Abel doesn't wait for me to react. He walks out of the room, still holding the side of his waist. I walk to a corner and slide down, trying to make myself as small as possible. I deserve to be killed for this. Abel is probably dying somewhere in his house and here I am, crying like I've been stabbed and not him.

I don't keep up with the passing time. I rock myself back and forth, the tears still pouring out of me without showing any sign of slowing down. But suddenly, there's the sound of footstep. I look up to see Abel walking into the living room again. He got rid of his sweater and is now pressing it over his wound. He looks a little pale but not as angry as he should be after what I did to him.

"You almost killed me, Carla."

"I'm sorry..."

I don't have anything else to say. I feel terrible about my actions and so embarrassed that I abandoned him to deal with his injury alone. Abel shakes his head.

"It's fine. You just have to help me stitch it now. Luckily, it wasn't deep."

I'm still tearing up, not believing that he's going to be fine. Abel holds my arm and helps me to my feet. His hand brings my chin up so I look straight into his eyes.

"I'm okay, Carla. I won't die, I promise...I know you didn't mean to."

His lips press gently against my forehead. I close my eyes and the panic slowly starts to leave me. Abel takes my hand and offers a gentle smile.

"Let's fix it. You'll help me stitch my wound and then you'll tell me what put you in such a terrible headspace. You weren't yourself anymore...I want you to trust me, Carla. I do really care about you and there's no better proof except the fact that I'm still here when I could have escaped. Okay?"

I nod slowly. I tell him that there's a first aid kit upstairs in my bedroom. That's the only place Abel hasn't visited yet. I'm about to show it all to him, even the secrets that I've kept for so long.