𝙏𝙀𝙈𝙋𝙀𝙍 ✓ 𝘑𝘢𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘏𝘢𝘭𝘦 • 𝘉𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘖𝘯𝘦 •

5.

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I realised that trusting someone was a lot harder than I thought. Even after more than three years with Carlisle I still didn't confide myself to him completely. It did bother me how uneasy I found myself to be. How distrusting I was in my nature. But it was also a valuable thought to always have in mind when new people entered your life. Do not always trust them, keep them close yet at an arms length until you were sure they would never leave. 

He didn't mind my paranoia, he didn't hold it against me and I was grateful for that. He understood where I came from, what I had been through. So he didn't question when I unexpectedly got a flashback and began to panic, when I realised how utterly vile I had behaved and what I had done. He didn't question it when a sudden attack of panic set into my body leaving me without the ability to breath or think clear. He just helped me, calmed me down and made sure I was alright. 

That was why I stayed with him, because he was the most understanding person I had ever encountered. Because I enjoyed his company and because he simply managed to calm me down. Even so I couldn't fully trust him. It bothered me, but I knew trust would come with time so I did not rush it. I let it be and with each day I felt the faith I had in him grow bigger and bigger with only a fraction. 

"Need help?" Carlisle walked into the room, a book under his arm and his hair slightly ruffled up from the many times he had ran his hand through it. I looked up from the thic book I was currently reading about the human anatomy. I was studying to become a doctor just like Carlisle, having realised that I wanted to do good with all the bad I had already caused. Though it proved slightly difficult to understand everything.

A smile laid on my lips as I looked at him and nodded my help, pushing the book towards him slightly. "That would be nice." 

He picked the book up from the table and read the page in a few seconds, letting out a hum before he began to explain everything. He spoke in such a way that made everything so much easier to understand. It seemed like the book only made it too hard for its own good whilst Carlisle explained with such simplicity that all the questions I had disappeared without a trace. I wondered why I even needed to read the books if he existed to explain everything. 

"Is it clearer now?" He chuckled slightly, still looking down at the book. I knew I didn't need him to see how I responded because strangely enough we both knew what the other one responded with just a feeling. Nevertheless I nodded my head with a small grin. "Yes, thank you"

He laid the book back down on the table with another hum and walked into the smaller living room. The stone fireplace was already crackling with flames and the warm orange light washed over the room like a comforting blanket. I had always loved the light fire emitted. The general warmth the fire gave. It almost felt nostalgic, like something from my human days that meant something. A room with a fire lit in its fireplace would automatically become much more comfortable, much more welcoming than a room without a fireplace lit. 

My eyes turned to one of the many windows in the small house that laid in the forest. We always lived outside towns if we moved around, deppending on Carlisle's work we often shifted places in the country. The stars shone brightly outside of the window, the sky had been slowly painted in indigo to later turn into the deepest mauveine. The moon left the woods in a light glow, almost as if the trees had been enchanted like they came from a fairytale. One would think that the moon was the most beautiful things during nightfall. But it was the stars.

The stars were always the brighter ones out there, always the more attractive of the two. They told stories the moon could never speak, lead the way to places like the moon could only dream of. It was almost like the stars had the ability to speak of fate, like they had a say in what would happen and what would not take place. Everyday they rose upon the sky to look down on us, telling us something we could only hear if we wanted so strongly to hear it. It might be a silly thing to say, that the stars had a say in what our fate would hold, and may so be the case. But it sounded awfully captivating. Did it not? To say that we could do nothing about it yet could see it so clearly upon she sky.