𝙏𝙀𝙈𝙋𝙀𝙍 ✓ 𝘑𝘢𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘏𝘢𝘭𝘦 • 𝘉𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘖𝘯𝘦 •

2.

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He pulled me out of the carriage with those vile and disgusting hands. It was late during the afternoon which meant that we had been in the carriage for more than nine hours. During that long time he would yell at me, strike me, insult me and go absolutely quiet. The sun was high on the sky, the ball of flames shining down on us with a fierce glare. A few clouds could be spotted on the bright blue canopy and birds flew high up in the sky like an arrow towards a destination unknown to me.

His hand wrapped around my arm so tightly I though it would snap in half at any moment. I looked around us and first now smelled the harsh scent of fish and sea water. I heard the loud noises coming from the hundreds of fishing men who were currently hoisting sails and throwing boxes and boxes of fish up on the harbour. The sound of a bell clincked near us and I looked around us again to see a large traveling ship in front of us, waiting for passangers to cross the sea over to what I guessed to be Europe.

"W-what are we doing here papa?"

He took a more firm hold on my arm and scowled down at me with hatred so pure it made me shrink back. "You're going to Russia."

"I-I'm what?"

"You heard me you foul girl. There's a place in Russia that will take care of people like you, girls that are unwanted."

"Unwanted?" I felt tears again start to rise in my eyes, he had never said that I was unwanted. No one in my family had ever said I was unwanted until this moment.

Was I really unwanted? Did no one care for me, did no one wish for me to stay? If that was the truth then why had no one told me that before? I could have done something about it. I could have been better. I could have been nicer, a better daughter. Was I ever loved? Had anyone ever cared for me as I had cared for them? That was a slim possibility. A possibility I would very much like to have. But that seemed impossible now, my own father shipping me away to a country to get rid of me.

What had I done wrong?

He walked into the boat, showed money and laid the sheets of paper in the uniformed dressed man. I stumbled slightly on one of the steps of the gangway and papa janked my arm towards him with a harsh pull. I let out a small whimper and he cursed at me to stay silent. Of course I obeyed, I always obeyed whatever he told me to do.

The boat wasn't what I was used to to be onboard. It didn't have the fancy flooring, the nice walls or the crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Instead it was dark and murky, the flooring looked as if it had been stepped on by shoes filled with mud and the wallpaper looked almost stained by something dark. It smelled awful, a harsh and stinging stench that reminded me of soaked clothing that had never been properly dried. It smelled sour, and I wondered how anyone possibly could, willingly, buy a spot on a ship like this.

He pulled me towards a room, it had no windows and was pitch black if it hadn't been for the electric light in the ceiling it would have indeed been as black as night without its moon or stars. He shoved me into the small compartment resulting in me stumbling forward to later fall over. I turn over, sitting with my bum on the floor now looking at him. He stared at me with such loathe I was sure he would strike and strangle me at any second. Though he did not.

"I hope I at least get a good amount for you."

The slam of the door when he shut it after he had walked away made me jump, almost like a scared cat. I was not a cat however, but I was scared. I was scared because I was going to Russia, I was going to be shipped away by my own papa. Of course I had always known he'd never liked me, that was an obvious fact with how he treated me like his own toy depending on his own satisfiction. He knew I hated him because of how he used me, it was mutual both ways.