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Skye Over the next few days, I met up with Legend at his hotel, his paranoia has him believing it is best that he squats here 'til it is time for us to make the big move.
"I'm just glad everything is over, we can finally have some peace to ourselves. Are you going to say goodbye to your sister?"
"Already did," Legend went into the bathroom and started up the shower. "She's in jail."
"What? What happened?"
"Drugs, I don't know, she's always been doing stupid shit."
"What's going to happen to her little girl?"
"Foster care, she going to end up losing the one she carrying now to foster care too."
"Aren't you going to do something?"
"For her? Fuck no she need to be there I'm tired of helping her when she never deserved shit from me. I can't do anything for the kid, better to be in somebody else's care temporarily that can provide better than I can."
"But -"
"But nothing, ain't shit I can do, Skye. I don't want to talk about it anymore."
"Oh! Baby, guess what the fuck my mom told me before I left?"
"What?" He shouted competing with the shower head.
"Officer Lancer, just got released on bail for fifty grand."
"What dumb ass would bail his ass out?"
"I don't know, but he about to go right back. His trial is going to start in a few months."
"Your mom or you don't have to appear for that do y'all?"
"As of now, no, there hasn't been any word of it to us, if either of us do we'll just fly back. As of now I just want to get the fuck out of New York."
After his shower we climbed into bed together, already warm and comfortable in my sweats all I did was just gaze at him and rub his head. We talked all night, when in actuality, I needed to go to sleep for school in the morning. We made confessions to one another about our fears and wants for the future. I don't know if it was me or what he recently went through but Legend has changed. Being out of the game is a hundred percent on his mind, he kept stressing that to me never wanting to face jail or work for somebody again. I didn't ask what exactly went down, I just know that it ended in death. I didn't ask what brought on the extra injuries, I just can tell he got his ass kicked and it pushed him to fight harder.
"You won't believe the dreams I had about you, scared me to death. I don't want to sound like a bitch, but I'm afraid of losing you. Honestly speaking, back at your house, I almost nutted inside you purposely, but I know you have your own plans you want to get done first before a kid comes into mind. That's just how much I want to be a part of you, I want you to have my baby. I want to live for someone other than myself."
"Shannon," that government came out again, because shit just got real. I'm really at a loss for words, I'm flattered, but more shocked over everything. "I don't know what to say, I'm glad you didn't, because for the moment I just want to enjoy you right now. I know your heart is in the right place, but your thought behind it is misplaced."
"It's not though, if I told you I want to propose to you. I want to set the gears in motion, I want you all to myself."
"And you have me all to yourself, I'm not going anywhere and neither are you."
I swear, I really want to know what's really going through his mind right now. What is it that he feels on the inside, because I never heard something like this come from him. Coming from someone who didn't want me to call him by his real name months ago, now wants to marry me and have his baby. His injury to the head really has him seeing things differently. It's almost as if this time spent with De Paul was much worse than his time spent in jail.
The conversation blew over and we went to sleep. Yet, as I awoke from my sleep I heard the sounds of the bathroom sink running and went to go investigate. Legend was dashing a handful water over his face. As he stood up straight watching my approach through the mirror I wrapped my arms around his waist. "You okay?" His expression was meager. "Just taking a few of these, my back is acting up."
"You sure it's not something else?"
"I'm fine, go back to sleep."
Taking his prescription of pain killers, I popped the bottle open and threw down in the toilet.
"What the fuck did you do that for?"
"You don't need them."
"I'm sorry, do you have a bruised ribs and a fucking broken hand?"
"No, but I also don't have a drug problem in my family history and didn't just go through a difficult experience fighting for my life! I understand your back hurts, but I guarantee if I had counted that bottle from the time you got it 'til now, it was less than daily dosage recommends remaining to take am I right? I'll wait!" I said, standing with my hand on my hip for an answer. "I fucking thought so."
"My pain doesn't concern you, who the fuck are you to tell me how much damn pain I'm in?"
"No, you trying to block whatever it is that you really feel deep inside. I'm trying to help you before you start depending on those to feel good as new. Painkillers ain't no joke!"
"I been selling drugs ever since I can remember, I never had no problem with it, so watch your damn mouth about what you say about me and my business."
All I know is, if you trying to board that plane to California everything is our business! If not, you can stay here for all I fucking care."
As I tried to walk away he grabbed my arm. "Don't fucking stand here and accuse me of no foul shit like that. I ain't trying to be no fucking addict. I just got these shits a few days ago, don't play that bullshit on me." The whole time his hand was on me I was giving that look, a look a mother gives her child when they're acting up in public. The look that makes the child know if they don't stop what they doing, they about to get they ass whooped! In that moment he knew to take his damn hand off me. I made my way to the door to walk out when he grabbed me again. "Where you going?"
Once more I gave his ass that look, he sighed and backed his ass up. I made exit out the hotel room, was gone for a few minutes. Probably gave him the assumption I wasn't coming back. But I came back with some supplies. An ice bucket and an extra plastic lining.
When I walked back in, he was sitting at the edge of the bed with his face palmed into his hands. "Lay down," I demanded. Taking the ice I scooped some into the extra liner and place it on his back.
I'm just trying to stop a problem before it becomes one. What Legend doesn't know is I still have a couple left, I'll only give it to him when the dosage he has now wears off. For right now, I'm just trying the best I can to soothe him naturally. I'll lay up all night giving him ice treatment if I have to. After a while, I'm sure his back must have been freezing. Soon after he switched so I could get his chest and sides. It was dark and it was late, I could sense him looking at me thinking what I really think of him at this moment. His hands started roaming up the course of my body, but I kept still un-bothered by it.
I didn't want to have sex. I'm far from the mood. Legend took the homemade ice pack from me and pulled me to sit on his pelvis. I wish this nigga could see the look that I have on my face. It was one of a don't fuck with me face. He didn't say anything just kept caressing my body, I could feel him getting warm and rising. Placing his hand on my upper back he pushed me closer to his face just so he could kiss me. The intimacy in our relationship has always been booming, but for right now, it's going to have to get put on hold.
