A Promise Within The Walls |BTS JIMIN IDOL FF|

Chim Chim on a mission

I'm walking to my door, aware of the fact Jimin is waiting for me in there.
I'm not sure why I did that.
Well, I know damn well why.
Because I still love him.

I don't have a key so I can't go inside, I have to knock.
Feels weird knocking on my own door.

I knock a few times and I hear the door open.
He just stands there for a few seconds before I speak.
'May I come in?' I ask giving him a weak smile

He scoffs and gives me a smile before moving aside.

'Do you want some tea?' I ask him.

'Yes, please.' he answers sitting down on the couch.

It always felt like that couch spot is his. He always sat there. Except he used to look more relaxed. Right now, he looks tense.

I put down the tea and sit across from him.

'You can relax, I don't bite.' I try to make him feel more welcome but Chim Chim seems to like him a bit too much. He jumped on the couch and climbed on Jimin, trying to eat his hoodie sleeve.
'I never promised he wouldn't bite.'

He looks at me and finally laughs a bit.

'Finally, there you are.' I tell him, relieved he's smiling again.

'You're the one that's almost gone.' he says to me, hoarse voice 'And it's all my fault.' he looks down at Chim Chim chewing on him.

'I never thought it was your fault. I knew what was bound to happen. You said so yourself, there was no future for us. Plus the difference in the feelings didn't help.' I explain and he seemed to be paying attention even if he wasn't looking at me.

'How bad?' That's the only thing he said.

'How bad what?' I ask.

'How bad did I hurt you?' He says choking on his words.

'You didn't hurt me, I hurt myself. I fell in love with you all in my own.' he widened his eyes after I said the last part, but I just continued
'Even after you told me not to. Repeatedly. And I begged you to lie to me. And you did, even though you warned me. But I don't regret you. I don't regret loving you.'

'You still didn't tell me. How bad?' He looks up at me his hands shaking

I sighed, knowing he won't give up until I tell him
'I hurt myself pretty bad. I didn't sleep for the first few weeks. I forgot to eat a lot of the time. I couldn't listen to the music for- well I still don't listen to it much. I wondered a lot about you and how you were doing. I checked in on you from time to time, and was happy to see you look happy. That made me feel a bit better. The fact you were okay pushed me onwards'.

He looked at me, broken, eyes swelling up with tears repeatedly mumbling 'It's my fault. It's my fault. It's all my fault... '

'Jimin, I meant what I said. I don't regret loving you. If I knew the outcome would be this, I would do it all over again.' I try to reassure him and for a second contemplate holding his hand, but decide against it.

'Will you ever be able to forgive me?' He asks crying. Tears rolling down those perfectly sculpted cheekbones, down to his gorgeously molded lips, trickling over his bottom lip.

'Nothing to forgive you for. You've done nothing but try to protect me. But you can't protect me from myself.' I tell him.

'So you don't hate me?' He asks again sniffling

'No, Jimin. I love you.' I tell him honestly, no point hiding it now

He stops crying and is just staring at me. I'm not even sure if he's breathing
'You.... love me?' He repeats after me