Long Journey || ATEEZ

Hearts Awakened, Live Alive

The captain's sunny mask peeled off his face like an old scab as he closed the door behind Seungho, Juyeong and San, and faced his first mate. Seonghwa raised his eyebrows in concern, but Hongjoong ignored him, instead walking over to his desk, sighing, and running a hand through his hair.

"What's the matter?" Seonghwa asked, following the captain and joining him by his desk.

"Remember the traitor I told you about?"

Seonghwa was quick to recollect, and even quicker to figure things out.

"You don't mean—"

"I do," Hongjoong said, sighing again. "Seungho was the traitor. Seungho." The captain's voice was hollow, edged with tiredness and a deep pain that stretched across aeons, never letting go, never quite leaving fully.

"But—"

"I know. I guess that's what makes it all the more shocking; we trusted him. We never would've even dreamed of it being him."

Seonghwa grimaced.

"So what are you going to do to him...?" Seonghwa asked, almost fearfully. "We do need him to help San, but—"

"I've forgiven him," Hongjoong said abruptly.

"Really?" Seonghwa asked, eyes wide. "But why...?"

"He seemed to really regret what he did. I can—I can tell he's a good guy. He just made a bad choice," the captain said firmly, but there was doubt behind his eyes. Seonghwa caught onto this right away, and raised an eyebrow as the captain's eyes came to meet his.

"Do you want a hug?" Seonghwa offered. "You've been through a lot recently."

"Yeah, that would be great," Hongjoong said, with a sigh of relief as he collapsed into Seonghwa's open arms and buried his face in his shoulder.

The captain seemed to melt into his first mate's embrace, and in that moment, something about him seemed so fragile, so close to the edge of truly breaking, and it broke Seonghwa's heart as he tightened his grip around Hongjoong.

"I don't know if I did the right thing, Seonghwa," Hongjoong admitted after a while. "Seungho might've been lying. It might've all been an act, and he might turn around and stab us in the back someday." The captain's voice broke. "What if I made the wrong decision and I put everyone in danger again? I really don't think I can handle losing another crewmate..."

Hongjoong sighed.

"You know...I guess you were right. I was blinded by my dream. I romanticised this kind of life and look where that got me."

"Don't say that," Seonghwa said, frowning as he pulled away. He recalled their argument a couple of weeks back, and winced at the memory of the harsh words he had flung at Hongjoong when he was at his most vulnerable. He had to make things right this time.

"Why? It's the truth," Hongjoong said, almost matter-of-factly, looking straight into Seonghwa's eyes.

"Well, it kinda is," Seonghwa said, breaking away from the captain's gaze, "but— "

"I thought you were meant to be comforting me? Not acting all smug about being right." There was a telltale grin playing at the captain's lips.

"Well, I'm still figuring out how to comfort people, alright?" Seonghwa said. "So forgive me for being a bit awkward."

Hongjoong laughed, throwing his head back.

"Even if you're being awkward, aren't you being a little too awkward?" the captain teased.