S36(*)

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Idk really if a * should be here. Some would say there should be and others wouldn't agree, so here it is. Treat it the way you want to treat it. Have fun, I love this one.

Music for this chapter:
Backseat - Susannah Joffe

Harry's pov

I look at the clock again, as nervous as I've never been before. I've never looked at the clock so many times in my life in such a short period. My scalp hurts from how many times I've run my fingers through my hair, my lips are numb from how long I've been biting them. At this point, I don't even feel my bouncing leg anymore. I swear this girl will be the fucking end of me. 

It's been almost an hour since the time we were supposed to meet. She was supposed to sit her ass in my car fifty minutes ago and she's not here. She's not answering my calls or my messages. She's nowhere in sight and I'm getting worried. My stomach hurts, my head hurts. I'm a nervous wreck. 

I'm beginning to think she's ditching me because her amazing boyfriend found out. Rage fills my body when I think about what he could've possibly done to her or even be doing right fucking now as I think about it. 

I'm getting sick of the view of the hospital. I'm watching as everyone drives off and my car is one of the last in the parking. 

I'm trying to calm myself and just think that she's just busy, wanting to ignore the bad scenarios with that J dude and that kid. I hope the kid is fucking fine. 

I bought that stupid book without even thinking about it. I was late to work because of that, but the lady from the library said it was the best one they had, so I obviously had to get it. She's really interested and invested in spending time with him. I can tell she cares about him. I don't know what I wanted to do with the whole thing, but I guess it turned out nice. Nice kid. It made me feel something, that night I saw her crying and her reaction to the call. I won't be able to protect him from everything, just to make her happy. But I can try to make it better, happier, and easier for both of them. I guess that's what I wanted to do. I wasn't really thinking about her or if she's gonna find out. I know that the book would be fun for the kid and seeing him happy will make her smile too.

I can't stop thinking about her soft lips. It was so natural but so wrong to do it almost felt right. I'd definitely want her to do it again, but I know she won't. 

I'm fucked, I know it. I'm fucked as fuck.

But I'm glad she's keeping my mind occupied with something else than what's going on after Niall called me yesterday.

Either way, every version of what could've gone wrong paralyzed me and I didn't want to find out. I know that I'll have to find out at some point, but I don't want to. I don't like the vision of something happening to her because of me, because I agreed to drive her to that club. I take a risk every time because I help her doing something she loves.

Fuck, I should've done something instead of sitting inside my car like a fucking dumbass, in my own, safe little bubble. 

I hope she's still at the hospital.

I get out of my car, take my phone with me and lock the car, almost running to the entrance. It's getting late and it's already dark outside. I need to act normal. 

I nod at the receptionist or another the-fuck-you-call-her. It's scary how easily you can get in here. But I guess we already know that, right?

I take the stairs, cause I know that standing in the elevator wouldn't be a great idea. I have to use the adrenaline rush I'm on.

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