tips for nonbinary + trans folks <3

figuring out ones labels

random pieces of advice for questioning ones gender/sexuality.

• the LGBTQ community often puts such a strong emphasis on figuring out your labels immediatly and loving them as soon as you find them and finding happiness in those labels very quickly.
This hardly is the case. You don't need to figure anything out immedity. You don't need to rush. You don't need to rush to label yourself if you don't want to. Labels can be scary and overwhelming and I hate the societal pressure to find the perfect boxes you fit in and make your entire world based around them. Of course, many people do and there's nothing wrong with that- but not everyone does or has to. <3

• Labels can be overwhelming. Oftentimes, trying to pidgeonhole ones identity just makes everything harder. There's absolotley nothing wrong with using broad terms to describe your identity. (For example, I myself just use the word 'queer' for my sexuality becuase at this point I'm tired of dealing with it. I have a general understanding of it but I don't want a specific 'sexuality term' (such as bisexual or pansexual) to explicitly define it.)

• On that note- some people find a lot of comfort in defined labels. They can help bring community and reassurance. And that's something that a lot of people can find joy in.

• lots of labels in the LGBTQ community are 'umbrella terms' meaning general labels for a gender/sexuality that also have smaller more defined labels for that term underneath.
For example, Aesexual is an umbrella term. (Meaning limited to no sexual attraction to people) It can be used as a label itself, but there's also smaller labels underneath such as demisexual (having sexual attraction to someone only after establishing a connection with the person,) and gray-aesexual. (Person may experience sexual attraction but only occasionally)

• you're allowed to change what labels you use to describe yourself. Labels don't have to be solid and rigid- they can change if the person using them feels they don't work. You're allowed to explore diffrent labels and see which ones work and which ones don't. (They're not permanent like tattoos. They're more like pieces of clothing- you can try on diffrent ones to see which one fits best.)

• Look for advice from people who've questioned their identity/are questioning. They understand what you're going through and can offer more clear advice.

• the internet has a lot of resources and advice- but be carefull. Don't overwhelm yourself. Don't force yourself into boxes if they don't feel right.

• You don't have to be explicitly 'out and proud of yourself!' You dont have to string pride flags from the hilltops. You can choose to share your identity with whomever you choose. No one is entitled to your identity. It's yours.

• Similarly- it's also completley okay to want to share your identity with others and be proud of it. Finding strength and solidarity with other people is really important and helpful for some people. If you're proud of it- definitely be proud of it.

• You don't have to have everything figured out. You don't have to speedrun your gender/sexuality crisis. It's okay. You're still learning and exploring yourself and finding out what you do and don't want.

• there's nothing wrong with questioning yourself and eventually realizing that you're straight/cis. It doesn't mean you're appropriating anything or being attention seeking. You're just learning more about yourself and that's incredible.