tips for nonbinary + trans folks <3

what's gender dysphoria?

Gender Dysphoria: extreme distress or discomfort associate with identifying as your assigned gender at birth.

Dysphoria is something that a lot of trans people have to deal with. Not every trans person nessisarily has it though- but a lot of them do.

Also just putting this out there: I'm not a professional doctor or psychiatrist. In no way am I able to professionally diagnose anyone with anything. So don't use this as a professional diagnosis.

Gender dysphoria can be received in different ways. The most well received version of it is "body dysphoria," in relation to extreme distress or discomfort with the physical features relating to your biological sex.

This is different than just "low self-esteem," or just "feeling like your body is imperfect." That's body dysmorphia, though body dysphoria and body dysmorphia can often be interconnected.

Body dysphoria means you specificly feel disconnected towards the features of your body that come with being your biological sex. They might feel weird or wrong. For me, it feels like they're misshapen lumps of clay half-hazzardly attached to my body withount the slightest foresight.

For me personally, I have more "social dysphoria" than "body dysphoria."

Social dysphoria: it's a type of gender dysphoria that encompasses feeling extreme stress or discomfort over being associated as your assigned gender at birth. Things like being referred to with pronouns, adjectives, and labels that automatically go with your assigned gender at birth, and having them cause distress.

For me personally, it feels the majority of my dysphoria was centered around being seen as the wrong thing- female. Being called she felt like trying on an old, crumbling coat, one that's made of stringy pieces of filthy fabric. Repulsive and agonizing to toss around my shoulders, to put my arms through the dirt-encrusted sleeves. Being called by my deadname also felt similar- like I was trapped in a cage.

Being called Kai and being referred to by they/them pronouns, especially by my family, has significantly helped me. It's made me feel a lot better and my mental health has been signifantly better becuase of it.

Dysphoria is weird. It feels like "you have to have an extreme amount of it, or else you're faking being trans." But having it makes you feel like you're being slammed over the head with a stick, over and over, pummeling you into the ground.

Gender dysphoria can be manifested at any age, also. Some trans people realize the have it as early as three, but many older.

I realized something was wrong as of puberty, when the changes wracking my body didn't give me a sense of mystified wonder and joy. They just made me feel confused, like something was wrong. Of course- no one likes puberty. Absolotley no one ever said things like, "wow! My entire body and mind are going through rapid hormone changes. I feel amazing!"

All I ever felt though was dread. Getting a bra at first seemed exiting, I'd finally be normal and things would get easier. The thing felt awkward to sling around my chest, like a harness. I never relished the changes, never anticipated the massive growth. I only felt stupid and small.