tips for nonbinary + trans folks <3

how to choose a name

Names, for trans people, cam be powerfull things. They can be the defining factor between feeling seen and valued, or disregarded.

Often, trans people feel their birth name, (often called a deadname,) doesn't fit them and who they are. So they decide to change it.

(Also, you don't even have to be trans to change your name! Lots of cis folks change theirs becuase they just don't like it, so it's a normal thing!)

First of all, even as a trans/nonbinary person, you don't have to even change your birthname! If you feel the name you were given at birth still feels right, then of course keep it. (It'll definitely be easier for you that way if that's something that works out!)

Additionally, there's a shit ton of stereotypes surrounding "nonbinary names." To that I say: do whatever the heck you want. You don't have to name yourself a random combination of any 3 letters or a noun or a strictly gender nutrual name. Don't choose a name becuse you feel you're obliged to pick one that neatly adheres to "what you're supposed to name yourself as." The steryptical nonbinary names have been a little joke in the community, something to poke fun at ourselves with. But it's not a requirement at all! Name yourself something that feels right, that you feel really makes you feel like yourself.

A lot of people go through trial and error when choosing their name. It's a period of speculation, of confusion, of existing in a weird name-less void of what the heck do I want people to call me now?

How to choose a name if you feel your birthname doesn't fit right.
First of all- don't rush it. Trying to speedrun finding a new name can lead to regret and impulsive decisions. Take your time, work your way through it.

I recommend looking at baby name websites, they have a ton of oddly-specific suggestions for any of your name-description needs.

You can also take inspiration from things around you! Cool objects, celebrities, characters in books/movies/shows/etc. Make a list and start cutting down on the ones you like best.

Going by a name online is one of the best ways to try it out! It poses no harm for you if you eventually decide its not right, and being called it by strangers can help you determine whether it fits you or not. You can switch around and decide if it works for you or not.

Ask yourself some questions if you're still feeling skeptical. If someone were to announce this name for me in class would I like it? How about at a school assembly? A crowded coffee shop? Imagine someone saying it in any and all circumstances. Will this name still fit when I'm older?

For any trans people reading this who chose their name, what is it? Why did you choose it?