tips for nonbinary + trans folks <3

pronouns

pronoun.
Noun.
A word that replaces someone's name in relation to speaking about them.

ex. Hey, can you pass the book to kai?
- hey, can you pass the book to them?

Pronouns are ground into us scince birth. The little signs and clues were taught to distinguish male and female, to box people in on sight. I'm even guilty of this, pidgeonholing people on sight and assigning them he or she based in their outward aperance. That's the nature of how the world works, something that makes it difficult for not only trans people, but for anyone who just happens to reside outside these norms.

Pronouns aren't just he or she, or even they. There's even neopronouns, such as ey/em or xey/xem, which are pronouns other than he or she but aren't they/them.

Pronouns are important becuase using the wrong ones for someone can cause distress or discomfort. And deliberately misgendering someone is an instance of transphobia, showing the person that you'd rather chose to disrespect them rather than be a good person and just respect them.

It's just a word. It's not that hard.

Gender neutrual pronouns are sterotypicly  limited to they/them, and that's not true. Nonbinary people can use any combination or sets of pronoun- even "binary" ones.

I realized that they/them pronouns were right for me purely because I didn't feel that he or she felt right. The best way I can describe it is that it was like trying on clothes that didn't fit. The material felt wrong and itchy on my skin and I wanted to tear it off, but it felt like it was perminantly grafted to my body. It was the wrong color, the wrong style, the wrong fabric.

Using they/them felt right. It struck a cacophony of bells in my head, it just clicked. Like the last puzzle piece snapping into place or the sound of ocean waves, it solidified the feelings of this sounds like how it's supposed to.

Nonbinary people aren't limited to strictly they/them. There's variations such as he/they or she/they, which can be either used as alternating between the 2 sets or "the person doesn't mind going by either of them."

Nonbinary people can even use binary pronoun sets, she/her and he/him. Or multiple sets of pronouns like he/they/she, she/him, or even neopronouns like its/it and xey/xem. Heck, they could could use all pronouns. Pronouns aren't limited, and a person can use multiple sets or all if they feel that describes them best. Trans people aren't limited to using specific sets of pronouns- they can use any.

Also- something that's not really talked about: using they/them pronouns for someone who doesn't use them still counts aa misgendering! (To misgender someone is to call them by the wrong pronouns/gender.)

If someone uses xey/xem pronouns for example, but you refer to xem as they becuase "It's just easier," then that's still misgendering xem. Misgendering isn't limited to just using he or she for someone- any set of pronouns is still viable if the person doesn't use those.