tips for nonbinary + trans folks <3

coming out advice

Coming out is so so so hard. And it's also so stigmatized as this big thing that's required of every queer person. It's not. You do not have to come out to anyone in order to be valid as a nonbinary/trans person. <3333

In the case that you are looking to come out to anyone, please keep a few things in mind before you do so- for safety reasons.

• will coming out put you in danger?
• will you be at the risk of being kicked out or being physically/emotionally hurt?
• is the person/people openly homophobic?
• do you genuinely feel ready, like youre not being forced to come out?

If any of those questions are answerd with yes, please please really think about it.
(Particularly, if the top 3 bullet points were answered with yes- I would advise maybe it's not best to be out due to protecting your own safety.)

coming out is a term that's often so stigmatized and overused- and it's depicted as the main focal point of someone being queer. Hell no. It's something that's been watered down into a "requirement" for queer individuals which is so so stupid. It's not a requirement. Sometimes the person isn't in a safe enough situation. Sometimes the person just doesn't want to come out- and there's nothing wrong with that. Being out can be incredibly scary, and it's not some big thing that everyone has to do.

If you are thinking of coming out to anyone, here's some advice though!

• you do not have to come out to your parents/guardians first! In the queer community, it's seen as this big first coming out moment where you have to tell your adults before telling anyone else. No. You can tell anyone you feel trusted to. <33
• ideas would be friends, teachers, any trusted adults in your life, a therapist, online, etc.

• coming out in queer online spaces is something you can do- people on there are generally very very supportive!
• coming out to a therapist or counselor is also a good idea if you don't know where to start!

Some coming out ideas:
• write them a letter/text/email. I highly recommend this- as it's so hard to physically get the words out sometimes. Getting it written down can help you get everything you need to say out in one fell swoop.

• invite them on an activity, (such as a hike, out to eat, going on a drive, etc.) This is what I did! The activity will help with stimulation, which is often easier to have a conversation vs. Just sitting somewhere and talking. It often helps to ease awkwardness.

• do it in a fun way. Bake a pride flag cake. Make a tiktok with them using a queer audio. Jump out of your closet. (Please only do this if you're in a family that you know is supportive!!)

• sit down with them and have a heart to heart conversation. (Cue Hopper from stranger things.) Tell them you have something important to say and just have a conversation about it.

I wish you the best of luck, if you are looking to come out. Please be safe, and remember that you do not owe anyone an explanation to who you are. You being you is enough. You are enough. 💞🥰