Dear Husband, yours only [on hold]

✥ 37 | Courage

With slow steps Sanjh walked back home. It was the longest she had been out in a while. It somehow was a nice break. After Raunak came into her life, her me-time had considerably reduced. 

She walked up the porch steps and reached the door. She was surprised to find it open. Perhaps Raunak was already home from school. She hurriedly made her way inside.

"Sanjh, where were you?" She was welcomed by Sidharth's anxious question. He walked upto her immediately. His appearance marked with remarkable worry. She looked around. 

"I was in the park nearby," she answered confused.

"It's been over four hours. Your phone was unreachable so Maa and I, we both were worried."

"I am fine. My phone wasn't charged so it had powered off. Where's Maa?"

"She went down to Raheja uncle's place just in case you were there." He answered.

"Oh, I will call her and tell her I am back home."

"Hmm,"

Sidharth sat down on the sofa and watched silently as she called his mother and explained that she was home after spending some time at the park. Then they spoke about lunch. 

Sidharth closed his eyes. He didn't know why but a strange worry had set in ever since the last conversation he had had with Sanjh. 

"You took your medicines? The after breakfast ones?" Her voice made him open his eyes and look towards the dining table. She was setting the table for lunch.

He shook his head. 

"You should take care of yourself. Maybe take it after lunch. They're just multivitamins right?" She glanced at him.

He nodded. He then sprang up to his feet and walked over to her. 

"Can we talk?" He asked watching her.

She looked up at him. He could tell she was thinking of something. 

"I... did you have anything to say?" He asked instead of going through with what was in his mind. 

"No. Nothing really." Sanjh replied.

"I thought over our situation. And I just wanted you to know that I want to be with you and Ron. Like a proper family. But..." he stared at her. 

Sanjh placed the plate in her hand on the table. She glanced up at him. "But what?"

"I don't want to end up hurting you." He said and took a sharp inhale. "I mean... if I am being honest, I have never really been sure of my feelings and... I.. uh, I don't know how to put it in words."

Sanjh placed the cloth she was siping the plates with on the table and walked around the table towards him. "You not sure what you want?" She asked. He still had doubts about her? About Ron and her?

"No. I am sure I want to be with you. But ... I am not sure if that's the right thing for you too. I mean you clearly have options." He lowered his gaze. It hurt to even think of Sanjh with anyone else. But he had to do the right thing. He owed this to her.

Sanjh's hands found his. Each of her hand held his. He looked up at her slowly. "You're my only option." She said softly, looking up at him. 

What an irony! Sidharth thought to himself. He had made her think she was an option. And here she was reassuring him that he was her only option. If she wanted she could have given up on him. Moved on. Somehow she didn't choose that, it was never an option to her. 

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. He freed his hands from his hold and gently placed them on her cheeks. He leaned forward and pressed his lips agaisnt her forehead. There was no way he could put whatever he felt in that moment in words. "Thank you," he whispered soon after.