iris, supernatural [ 2 ]

046. probation

"Lissy, come on. Look, tell me or not tell me, don't you think we should reach out? I mean, surely she wouldn't join them for the hell of it."

"Sam, I don't care what reason she has for working with them. I don't care if it's a good reason. It's not a good choice."

"Look, she's still my mom. She my family!"

"Yeah, and you wanna know who else was your family? Our son." Larissa's voice cracks. "So you can either come to your senses and keep icing your mom out. Or you can just go bitch about me to mommy." She sneers, walking out.

"Wha-- what?" Sam asks, getting up and following her into the kitchen. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, part of the, um... heated conversation... was how terrible of a mother she is. Which she turned around on me... because I scared Athena at Asa's funeral -- while possessed, may I remind. But she also mentioned something really interesting."

"What?" Sam quietly asks, thinking he knows where this is going.

"You don't wanna guess? You know... times when I was a shitty mother? Who told her about my fucking depression episode where I could've seriously hurt Athena? Hmm? Dean? I don't see him spilling the beans. He knows I trust him not to do that. He wouldn't do that. And there's only two other people who know -- you and Athena. And your mom's never been left alone with Athena and I also know Thena's never fucking talked about it, so... do you have something you'd like to own up to, Sam?"

"Look, I-- yes, I told her." Sam admits and Larissa lets out a breath of disbelief. "But... but I was just worried. She had asked how you were doing and-and I was curious if she had ever almost hurt me or-or Dean when we were little because of something and how she got through it if she did."

"So you told her what I did? That's not something for you to tell, Sam. And the glass was a fucking accident. I didn't mean to throw it at her. And it's bad enough imagining how many different ways that could've gone. The glass could've blinded her or-or stabbed her. She could've gotten seriously hurt. And-And I already have nightmares and the shame and embarrassment to live with, but now your fucking mom knows? She has no business knowing."

"Look, it-it was a mistake. I was looking for advice, I didn't know what to do. I... I'm sorry." Sam tells her.

"I'm gonna take Athena out to eat. You stay here and figure out your life. Call your mom for advice if you need to, mama's boy." Larissa sneers before walking out. Sam winces at the cold look directed at him in her eyes.

+++

Sam pulls up to the British Men of Letters compound and turns the car off, getting out.

"Thanks for coming." Mary tells him.

"What's so urgent?" Sam asks.

"Sam, I messed up." Mary states. "I know I messed up. But what the British Men of Letters are doing, this is bigger than us, Sam. We've got a real shot here."

"Shot at what?" Sam asks.

"A world without monsters. A world where you and Dean don't have to hunt, where you can have normal lives." Mary says.

"I chose this life." Sam says.

"I know. But you were going to school, to college. And I get why you gave it up. But what if you didn't have to? What if there was a different future for you, for us? For Athena?" She mentions the girl, knowing that if anything gets Sam to crack it will be his daughter.

"That's why I'm doing this. That is what I'm fighting for. I am not trying to recruit you, but you need to know. Things are changing. Please." Mary hits the keypad, the gate opening. "Just let me show you."

+++

Sam and Dean get back to the bunker and Sam walks into the kitchen where Larissa is making two sandwiches.

"Hey." Sam greets. Larissa glances up, but doesn't reply. Sam quietly sighs, awkwardly clearing his throat as he walks closer. "Lissy, look, I... I'm really, really sorry. I never should've told my mom anything about what you did or what happened in those months, especially without your permission. I'm sorry I broke your trust and it... it won't happen again. I swear."

"And I don't like that my mom is working with the Brits, but... but part of me still loves her. She's my mom, I... I can't really help it. And that doesn't mean that I don't love you an-and Thena and our son. And I don't forgive the Brits. But I can't hate my mom, not completely, anyway. I mean, she... she'd have to hurt you or Athena for me to despise her or anything."

"So, I... I'm sorry. Really, really sorry, baby." Sam says. "Look, I-I'll beg if I have to, just please forgive me." He gives her puppy dog eyes.

"Okay." She says.

"O-Okay?" Sam asks. "Okay what?"

"You wanna beg for my forgiveness? Beg." Larissa tells him.

"Wh-- seriously?" Sam asks. Larissa gives him a look. "Lissy, I'm really sorry. Okay, look, I-I'm very sorry. I will never tell anybody anything about you and if my mom does something else fucked up, then-then I'll tear her a new one or just drop contact or something. I'll be on your side. I am on your side. Please, please forgive me." Sam rounds the counters and drops to his knees, hugging her around the waist.

"I-- okay. Yo-- not the knees. That... that feels wrong. That... that feels like some sort of humiliation thing or-or something. Get up, please." Larissa says, gently pushing Sam away and making him stand up.

"So, do you forgive me?" Sam asks.

"Are you gonna tell your mom any more of our family drama?" Larissa asks.

"No." Sam shakes his head.

"And you're not gonna work with the Brits?" Larissa makes sure.

"No." Sam tells her. He makes not do his tell that always lets her know he's lying. "No, I'm not."

"Fine. You're on probation, though." Larissa says.

"Probation?" He asks.

"Yeah. I'm not that easy to impress. Also, I promised Thena a mommy-daughter sleepover, so find a different bed for the night." Larissa says, grabbing the sandwiches. She kisses Sam on the cheek to let him know she's not completely pissed off and then leaves.