Natyam | A Mahabharata Fiction

29.

I sighed, dropping my makeshift weapon.

"We meet again, Prabhu. I trust all is well." I gave my visitor a tentative smile, ears turning pink.

Mahadev gave me a wild yet calm smile. "All is, most certainly, well. I am here for your husband, he has pleased me greatly. I thought I'd drop by to meet you too."

I shan't lie, I was humbled by his words. Humbled and confused. What god ever came to just see how a mortal was doing?

"I am glad you are pleased with him."

"He's very dedicated, your Arjun." A third voice piped up from outside. Parvati walked into view. She too blessed me with a mischievous smile as she stood before me, beside her spouse.

Dear reader, can you imagine my state? I, a mortal, standing before two of the greatest deities in our belief.

"I have never seen such a relentless man." The goddess remarked. "He will do anything to get what he wants."

She had pointed out that which I loved and feared most about Arjun. Still, I thanked her all the same.

"Rajkumar Arjun and Angaraj Karna too, Devi. They're two sides of the same coin." Mahadev added.

The couple gave me a knowing look. Of course they knew about the tussle. How determined the two of them were.
I sighed. "I am blessed with their presence in my life."

The couple looked at each other. Then at me.

"Well, I'm off." Mahadev murmured.

The goddess and I watched him leave and then she turned to me. She was. . .sublime. I'd seen Krishna in his true form but a goddess. . . She was beyond words. There stood before me, someone who was even more beautiful than Draupadi. Shining brighter, stronger.

"I must speak with you, child."

I nodded, smiling.

She stepped forward, cocking her head. "I hear you are still furious with your eldest brother-in-law. You are still angry with what happened years ago."

Even the mention of the incident set off a trickle of fire in me. I had hidden it well—my continued anger. And there I was, unraveled by a god. Left bare with the truth in front of my face. For a moment, I considered lying.

"Deceit has gotten nobody anywhere, Rajkumari. Most certainly not with me."

I grimaced. "I am angry."

She studied me silently. I did not look away. I had not subdued myself before Vishnu, I would not lower myself for Parvati either. We stared at each other for a while. I had spent enough time in the company of divinity to do it comfortably.

"You are going to live a long, long life, Mrinali and your anger will be poison for the years to come. In time, you will need to make peace with your family. Make peace so that when the war comes, they can heed your counsel." She looked down and mumbled, "I know your brother-in-law will need it."

"What if I cannot let go?"

"My dear girl, you need to learn to let go. Do it for your sake more than theirs. Live and breathe in peace. Be selfish."

I raised my brows. No divine being had ever asked a mortal to be selfish.

"I know what I said." She remarked, noting my expression. "However, if this is the cost to maintain your sanity, then I stick to my word. You play a big role. More than you can imagine right now."

I groaned. "Why do you people do this to me? These vague statements, foreshadowing remarks. It's terribly unfair."

The goddess only smiled ominously. She gave me a partingh grin. "Take care, Mrinali."

I nodded and she turned to leave. As I watched her go, she turned suddenly to face me once more.

Quietly, she confessed, "I see you dance every day, Rajkumari. The dances you've come up with during your time in the forest are. . .sublime. You could rival my husband."

I stared blankly.

"Well, almost." She amended, eyes lowering to the floor with a fond smile.

The correction made me grin. "I thank you for the compliment, Devi. It means a lot coming from you."

"I am going to teach your dance to my children. They will teach theirs and their children will teach the whole world."

Even when I say it now, I can feel the awe settle in. Even in death, I remember the crisp live feeling of shock and gratitude. A goddess had granted me a huge honour and I had not even asked for it. What sorcery is this? Maybe we were beyond a transactional relationship with our gods.

In my little refuge in the forest, I stood before her, completely silent, hoping she would feel the emotions I failed to express.

She probably did. I know because she smiled wider as we stood there together.

She bid me farewell and then left. I knew she'd gone to meet Arjun.

I waited a few more minutes before I went to my husband.

When I saw him, he was ragged but wild with joy. "I've done it! I have done it, Mrinali!" He crowed out to the whole world, his victory.

I laughed and embraced him. He held me tightly.

In hindsight, the scene was terribly sadistic; and the fact that I indulged in my husband's happiness makes me sick. For his acquisition of this otherworldly weapon would mean the bloodshed of thousands.

*****

After our short victory, Arjun and I made our way back to his family.

I was not thrilled. However, I had promised I'd stay with him. That is the trouble with promises, they demand us to suffer when we would prefer otherwise. Perhaps that is why the concept of promises exist.

This was the mantra that festered in my mind as we trudged along mountains and rivers, back to our family. Nonetheless, I kept my mouth shut and suffered.

By the time we reached the Pandavas' makeshift hut, I had reached some conclusions. Irritated by my vows to Arjun, I decided never to promise anyone anything until absolutely necessary. Ironic, I know. Next, I was contemplating Parvati's words. To let go or not to let go.

I was mulling even as we strolled towards the hut. The burst of angry flames still swept through me but I held on to the goddess's words.

Be selfish.

I had struggled with being selfish for the entirety of our journey back to our family. It was uncanny; being narcissistic was quite simple for me usually.

In the horizon, I saw four men and one woman stepping out of the hut. And then I saw their faces. More specifically, I saw Nakul, Sahdev and Draupadi.

I saw the brothers' flowering smiles and Draupadi's fierce one. I looked at my sister's smile and felt the emotion release from my bones, my mind taking control once more.

At that moment, I realised how much my own fury had poisoned me.

We were only a few feet away from them. Arjun rushed forward to embrace his family.

I sliced away the last strands of rage that clung to me. Be selfish.

I met my family with a warm hug and let go.

*****

The family is, at last, reunited. Now comes the agyaatvaas and the war. Any guesses how Mrinali will navigate through them?

And a very happy Diwali to all of you, dear readers! I hope you all had tons of fun and colourful celebrations.

As always, do comment on the new chapter or the story. Give me the will to provide Mrinali with some completion. I need it. Desperately. Life has a way of interrupting creative endeavours.

Until the next chapter!

Love.