Natyam | A Mahabharata Fiction

23.

"Mrinali." A soft voice called out from outside the chamber I had locked myself in.

I had been inside, technically, only for thirty minutes, but it had felt like forever. I had been crying for a while before my body itself had emptied itself of tears and exhaustion wracked through me. As a result, I barely registered that I had been called.

"Mrinali."

My ears pricked. Dau.

I got up slowly and unlocked the door, opening it slowly.

There he stood. My mentor and companion. Concern flooded his features and his eyes were red, like he'd been crying. He stood at my door, waiting.

Behind him, I descried the morose faces of Arjun and Karna.

The moment they noticed me, Arjun stepped forward. Dau hurried in.

"MRINA–" I slammed the door before Arjun could walk in too, the rest of my name obscured by the walls.

Dau gave me a sad look.

"Oh, if he did not wish for me to slam door on him, he would not have behaved the way he did today!" Flushed, I sat back on my bed, looking at my friend, my mentor.

"Mrinali, it was not his fault."

"But it was, Dau! It was! Was not his silence a sign of his obeisance to the adharma that happened? Tell me!"

Dau sighed. Slowly, he eased himself down onto my bed, sitting right at the edge. Clearly, it irked him to sit on my marital bed. This bed was not his place. But he sat anyway. Then, he slowly covered my knuckles with his palm. There was pain in his face.

"I am so terribly sorry about what happened. Believe me, I am more enraged than I look. No matter, I will calm down, eventually. The question is: will you?"

I continued watching him. Thinking over his words.

He looked at me too and then went on. "It is of utmost importance that you do not let this event fill you with rage forever. I say this because in your current state, it does look like you will harbour the resentment that today's events have gifted you forever."

Something inside me wanted to burst into flames as he spoke.

"Why should I not prize this resentment, Dau?"

There was silence as he looked down at his hands. Then he patted my knuckles with his hand.

"Because it is poison. It is corrosive and it will burn you from the inside until you remain a shell of what you previously were." He paused.

"All your current strength of character, all the beauty that radiates from it, gone. Lost in the flames of your resentment."

I am not sure why but at that moment, I wept furiously. The memories of the day flashed by once more.

"What if I cannot let go of the resentment?" I cried.

"Oh, you will! As the days pass, the memory will lose its power but only if you allow it to. Should you hold on to it, relive it again and again, then the resentment will stay. It will grow and like I told you earlier, you'll be a shell of what you were. No one wants that for you, Mrinali, not one soul."

Silence reigned again. Dau looked at me while I looked at the patterns on the sheets of my bed.

I remember not wanting him to feel guilty that he had not been able to help me.

"Thank you, Dau. I appreciate it." I gave him a weak smile. "It will take me some time because I do want to punish these men for what they did today; but I will find my back. I promise."

He did not smile. Simply stared. I looked back at him.

"That is a promise I expect you to keep, Mrinali."

I nodded.

"Ah, here is the raging wife." A voice interrupted our conversation. Krishna stood at the door. His voice was sad and so were his eyes. As though he had just been crying.

"Is she all right?" Dau asked, no doubt referring to Draupadi.

"She is. You can see her now, if you want to."

"How sweet, look at the two brothers, taking care of their sisters-in-law." I managed.

They both smiled at me.

Then, Dau got up and left the room, seeking out Draupadi.

"I am furious, I will calm down eventually." I spoke up before Kanha could. He smiled at my actions but it was immediately replaced by a grim expression.

"The events of today were awful business, Rajkumari. Believe me, I was livid when I found out." Indeed, the remnants of his anger were still rippling off of him in waves.

"Will you talk to Yudhisthira?"

"Most certainly."

I heaved a sigh of relief. Yudhisthira would listen to Kanha. He was reliable like that. Everyone was. Kanha was amazingly persuasive, a skill that scared me to death.

"In fact, I will speak to him in your presence. Come with me." He leapt to the door and I followed, eager to see the eldest brother being scolded.

But we opened the door too late. To terrible news again.

Duryodhan's laugh boomed in the foyer. Kanha and I shared a look. What was he doing here? Especially after what had happened mere hours ago.

"Hurry." Kanha hissed, picking up the pace. I rushed.

We both entered the courtroom to find the rest there already. I saw the Pandavas, Shakuni, Duryodhan and Karna. I saw Draupadi and Subhadra weeping. Even the eyes of the Pandavas were red.

Dau stood with the two women, glaring at Yudhisthira. He looked...exasperated.

The king of Indraprastha stood there, as my eyes turned to him, squirming and eyes lowered in humiliation.

Duryodhan's booming laughter and Shakuni's maniac grinning echoed in our palace.

Immediately, rage washed over me once more.

Turning to Yudhisthira, I spoke in my sharpest tone, "Oh, what did you do?"

*****
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