The Inferno's Indulgence

Chapt 41

Celeste

The sheets underneath me reek of sexual pleasure and are so horribly disheveled. The twists and turns of my bed make me look in awe, seeing how they are tugged from at least three of the corners. I exhale, slowly having the memories of what I felt yesterday rush into my mind and make me feel overwhelmed. I'd never dreamt of hearing such news, and now that I have, it pains me. I stretch my arm over to the nightstand to take hold of the small card sticking out of a beautiful bouquet. I hold my breath, letting my eyes trace along his heartfelt message to me.

I envy the air you breathe in, and lust for the air you breathe out. It doesn't matter to me what time the sun goes up, my day doesn't start until I've saw you. I am grateful to have you, I wouldn't want anything less. Please continue loving me. I can not bare a time where you will ever refuse me.

—Your desperate lover

My eyes brim with unshed tears. I can only think of what he must have looked like as he wrote this down, and I can't help but picture a frown on his face. I trace over the card once more before placing it back down and reaching over for the bouquet of purple hydrangeas. They hold such a deep meaning for me now that I've shared such a beautiful experience with them.

I bring them to my nose and take a quick sniff before placing them back down.

My head aches softly, and my stomach rumbles and mocks my lack of eating after the news. Devastatingly, the tears fall from my eyes. It's more than hard to seek into the future and see a kidless marriage. It doesn't matter to me what Xyle says, it is my dream to have children. My tears fall onto the pillow with no shame at all. My heart aches for my future. My entire body does.

I feel more than vulnerable in this state so I attempt to pull my legs up and curl into a ball, but as the door creaks open, I stay as still as before.

In comes Xyle who's dressed in thin pajama pants and a dark grey shirt on his chest. He holds a small glass of juice in one hand, and a croissant on a tiny plate in the other. He sets the items down onto the stand beside me and comes to my side, kissing my naked shoulder and rubbing his nose up to my jawline.

"It pains me a great amount to see you this way, baby. Please don't cry." His voice is soft and husky as it is most mornings, and his breath warm and minty fresh.

I sniffle as he pecks my jawline. "I can't help it. I'm sorry, I don't mean to burden you. I'm in pain." I whisper.

I feel him shake his head against my skin, telling me that he is thinking the opposite of what I'm thinking, but it's hard to see. "You could never burden me. Please don't say that. I just want you to be okay. My heart has ached since last night. Your tears cause my own."

I feel more than horrible as I hear his words, not intending to cause anyone any pain. I pull my hand up and swipe my hand across my nose, sniffling softly.

"I'm not a true woman. I can't even have kids."

He immediately pulls his head away from my skin and leans his body closer to mine. He forces my vulnerability, placing his hands on my face and making me look up into his gray eyes with my brown ones full of tears. "You are a woman. Having children doesn't make you a woman, and not being able to get pregnant doesn't make you any less of a woman. There are so many powerful women in the world who are dealing with the same thing you are, and there are women who suffer from so much. Women who lose their children after bringing them into the world. Women who can't get pregnant. They are still women. You are still a woman, baby."