The Inferno's Indulgence

Chapt 31

Celeste

"I don't want you to stop, I told you that. Just — talk to me. Let me know what you're thinking. My mind is racing really fast. I want to do this with you. I'm just nervous. Please tell me what you're thinking, Xyle". My voice is desperate as I look up into his spiraling gray eyes. The gray glaciers hold nothing but pure softness inside of them, yet I can't get the feel of my body being overly anxious out of my system. I wasn't as nervous the first time I had sex with someone, but since then, it's been a long while, and I've held out due to my own problems. Now, it is different. So many thoughts, both negative and positive roam my brain freely, owning condos and setting up shop in the crevices of my brain. With each breath he takes, it's like I'm brought to the memory of what those last moments with the last guy felt like. His body was heavy over mine, and he held no remorse after disposing of me like acid, and I fear it happening again, although I know Xyle is different from him.

And then, most of my negative thoughts are pushed aside as I watch his lips curl into a picture worthy smile, the sweet one he is known to show me when we share our deepest moments with one another. "I'm thinking of how I will go at the pace you want. If you want slow, I will do that. I will do whatever you want me to do" he murmurs softly.

I resist the urge to tell him every single word that pops into my head. "Okay— okay. I'll be quiet" I say, swallowing harshly due to the nervousness, and nodding.

I expect him to proceed but he doesn't, making me look up to him, mirroring his soft and pure face. He shakes his head, and that curly, brown hair starts to topple a bit over his forehead, nearly touching the beautiful scar at his right eyebrow. "No, you can talk to me. I'm here at your request. Don't keep your thoughts away from me. I'm not judging you, we're both vulnerable". Vulnerable. My mind tests the word before I see that this is as big a deal to him as it is me. After all, we're both naked, and opening our bodies to each other to join as one.

I fear I may ramble again. I lift my head from the soft pillow beneath my head, and press my lips into his soft ones, not wanting to take up more of our time, though time seems more than endless right this moment. "I trust you" I whisper. Words I never thought I'd say to a man ever again before him.

He stares at me for long seconds to watch my reaction before he pulls his hand between our bodies. He grazes me softly as he reaches down to grab onto his phallus. I feel him guide himself to my entrance. "I'm going to push inside of you, now. It may hurt a little, but you'll tell me if you want me to stop".

I'll tell him. I'm glad to know I have the option.

I want to be closer to him. I adjust myself further, and let my arms take up more space than they took up before. My palms rest peacefully at his back, feeling his raging body heat right underneath my very palms. It's more than quiet now, and the air has gone thick. All I can see is him. All I can feel is him. He slowly urges his hips closer to mine, letting me feel the head of him attempting to guide his way deeper into my body. My brain reacts before I do, and despite the minimal feel of him aching me there, I inhale sharply. My palms pull his body towards mine, but he somehow manages not to hurt me with his entire body weight.

The foreign feeling makes me ache more as he urges a bit deeper. My eyebrows touch, greeting each other, and my jaw tenses. "Xyle" I whimper, my body not giving me the option of staying quiet. I feel I'll have to work on keeping my noise level down one day.

His hips stop moving. "I will stop" he murmurs softly.

My breathing feels easier now. I shake my head, not wanting to end this experience with him too quickly. I want to look back on this and remind myself of how thankful I am to have someone as sweet and protective as Xyle to share this experience with. I'm sure the pain will certainly be worth every ounce of pleasure we will give each other in the future.