The Inferno's Indulgence

Chapt 19

Celeste

Xyle gives me a very primal look as he grips my silky, pale blue underwear at my waist. As if it was my instinct, I raise my hips to allow him to pull them over my ass, and he doesn't stop. He pulls them down my legs and tosses them aside before sticking a hand between my legs to get me to part them. I slowly open up to him although there is fear laced in my eyes and heart. I jolt, feeling my insides clench as he lowers himself down, but he only goes to my stomach to kiss me there. His gentle lips chafe against my skin so softly that it feels as if he is just breathing on me. I inhale and pull my eyes to what's above me. Even without looking at him it isn't enough to stop the burn. He slowly kisses his way down to the part where my panty line would begin. Stopping, he pulls back. I look back down at him and he is gazing at me. "You're beautiful, Celeste. All of you" he murmurs before taking a mouth full and licking me so good that I shiver with pleasure, but before I can burst into flames, I wake in a cold sweat.

My body throbs with anticipation as I realize that there is not a single sign of Xyle being present inside of my bedroom. There is only complete silence to fill the void of the missing person, his masculine scent and rough voice remaining a memory in my head. A lump brews right at the base of my neck and starts to threaten the feel of the sorrowing burn he gives me when he indulges in even the lightest skin to skin contact. My mind and body relishes the sweet words that fell from such a filthy hole, not fully understanding how the way I view him is changing so quickly. Just a few weeks ago he was someone I despised so much, now I'm feeling like he is one of the only comfort zones I have. But even with thinking all of the good things about him and the way he makes me feel, the pain of what I've felt in the past places it's thumb and pointer on the stem of the flame and makes a promise to keep me sheltered from men forever.

That night where I lost myself was four years ago, yet I can still remember vividly what his heavy body felt like on top of mine. It still makes me queasy to know that I hadn't read the signs of his body language and facial expressions to know that he was not feeling the way he told me he felt. He tricked me, and was rude enough to act as if I was acid after the fact he had gotten what he so badly wanted from me. I'm sure he has no clue of the damage he's done, but a piece of him still remains inside.

My entire body feels a shuddering wave of pain, both need and anger infusing inside me to make me into this big ball of hot emotions that could never be cooled. I thought about my past more than I'd like to admit, and he was the only one to notice.

You have to know whoever wounded you so deeply will never have the chance to do it ever again. I want you in the present with me, not in the past with them.

The need for his arms to be wrapped around me in this very moment courses through my veins like a bad drug. There was nothing I wanted more at a time like this than his smell deeply intoxicating me and making me forget about everything else in the world. I just didn't know if I would be able to call him any time I needed him, or if he'd take me serious. My judgement of him is still so clouded despite the few weeks of bliss emotions he's given me. Because what if he is like him. What if his smile is a facade and he tricks me? I would be tricked twice.

I swallow down the heavy dryness in my throat, feeling it swell and fill with fear. I pinch my eyes closed like always, not wanting the tears to sprang free. It never helped me as much as I wanted it to, but it got me to shut off the world and pretend there was nothing else that mattered even if when I opened my eyes all of the feelings flooded me again.

I laid there for a few moments, eagerly pulling myself together before I turned my body to the side to look at the digital clock sitting on my nightstand. 3:01 am is what it read back to me.