The Inferno's Indulgence

Chapt 21

Celeste

Knock. Knock. Knock. All of my movements stop at the sound coming from my front door. My heart quickens it's pace and begins to thump so loudly in my ears that I am unsure if it's just all in my head. Can the neighbors hear this? Surely they can't. I finish rolling the thin camisole down my upper half before I quickly stick my feet into my slippers. In a rush, I walk through the dim corridor, and the living area. I hit the light switches as I come through, knowing that Xyle doesn't like the dark. I let out a cool breath before opening the door, seeing the man who's draped in a heavy jacket and dark jeans, no rips. I look at his face, shortly gawking over his gray eyes and lashes.

My eyes flutter, my eyelashes batting due to my shyness as I look up at him. He's holding a large pizza box, that is splaying across his left arm, his right arm completely free and hanging. "Hi" I whisper, the intense feeling of coy washing over me.

The muscles in his cheeks gain a peachy color as they rise, his eyes shining a bit. "Hi" he returns my same shy tone. It makes me smile even more. He's toying with me. "I want to kiss you, but by the way you ran me out of here this morning without at least hugging me goodbye makes me think you don't want me to. It's perfectly fine if you don't, I understand that you have been through a lot... I-I mean not a lot, I have no clue what it is but you've told me that it's trauma, a-and that it was sexual trauma- sorry, I don't mean to bring that up, I'm sure the last thing you want to think about right now is your trauma-"

I see that he's at a crossroads with his words. My smile never leaves my face as I step closer and place my hand around his firm bicep. All of him is muscle, I wonder what he looks like completely naked. I bet he is as dreamy as he was last night with only tight, black boxer briefs on. I stand on my toes and lift my head to place a kiss right at the corner of his mouth, only missing his lips by half an inch. Our height is to blame.

He seizes his words at once. He stops and looks down at me. I am impressed with the way he is able to just stop his crazy rambling so quickly and stop to breathe in. The kiss may not have been much, but I'm sure it was as assuring as I tried to make it. His gray eyes spiral. He burns into my brown ones.

"I don't think about all those bad things when I'm with you. It doesn't exist when you're near" I say with a low tone. "And I'm sorry for pushing you out this morning. I got all in my head and started to think about how you perceived me. It's silly now that you're here again, but I sort of panicked" I tell him exactly what I felt this morning. I know it isn't right to push him away, but I've never had a healthy start of a potential relationship. I have to learn how to keep it healthy.

I can hear the harsh swallow he takes. It's makes his Adam's apple move low before going back into place. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. You've mistaken me for someone who doesn't respect women, who doesn't respect you. I'm here to convince you, and I'll do whatever it takes, because it does not feel good to have the person you're trying to build with shut you out. So please let's have a conversation with an open mind. I know it may be hard, but I'm willing to sit here for hours until you talk to me about why you think the way you do. It'll help me understand you more and not be so consumed in my feelings when you throw me out again". Build. With me.

My words completely fail me as I look at him. His face is only fixed into an expression of implore. I nod, swallowing as I fight the burn in my eyes and throat. He's right. I should at least try to talk to him so that communication isn't a barrier between us.

I smile despite the feeling. "I think you like seeing me cry" I joke with a light heart. He's seen me cry too many times, and it's so soon. Its a bit embarrassing for me to be this way.