iris, supernatural [ 2 ]

041. single mom

"She... she's a daddy's girl, she goes to Sam for-for her hair braided and he'll drop whatever he's doing to do whatever the hell she wants him to do. I mean, sure, I do the same, but... but she's only three and I've already hurt her. I mean, sure, I was possessed one of those those times, but still. And being alone with her, it... I can't-- I need Sam."

"And not just to co-parent and-and be her dad, but I need him. I mean, I'm still in a state of self loathing for letting Toni torture me and not outing every single hunter I know, because then maybe I'd still have my second baby. I... I can't do any of this alone."

Cas stares at her sadly as she tries to keep her tears in.

"Larissa... Sam and Dean are strong. But I know you're also very strong. You're the strongest woman I know." Cas says making her scoff, not believing him. "One of the three strongest people I know. And we will get Sam and Dean back. But in the meantime... I believe in you. You're fully capable of being a wonderful mom to Athena, with or without Sam around."

"Athena loves you and even though you've hurt her, you've apologized and she's forgiven you. You're stronger than you think and you're not a bad mother. Everything will be okay."

+++

It's been four weeks and Larissa is still doing her best for Athena. She puts on a show, but she can easily feel herself falling apart inside. The fear of Sam being dead just grows each day.

Ever since her slight meltdown, Cas checks in more often, wanting to make sure that Larissa is okay. He babysits Athena at least once a week so Larissa can be by herself to relax. Though she really just uses that time to freak out more, but just not hide it so she doesn't scare her toddler.

Athena is sitting on the counter by the sink while Larissa tries to french braid her hair.

"Ow!" Athena cries when Larissa accidentally tugs on her hair.

"Sorry. I'm sorry, baby." Larissa frowns.

"Daddy doesn't pull my hair when he does this." Athena points out.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry, sweetie." Larissa says.

"When is daddy coming home?" Athena asks.

"I... I don't know, baby." Larissa answers truthfully.

"Did he leave us?" Athena asks, her eyes saddening.

"No. No, baby, he-he did not leave us. Your daddy, he... he and Uncle Dean are just, uh... they're on a really long hunting trip."

"Are they in trouble?"

"No. No, they're fine. They... your dad loves you. More than anything. He would never leave you, sweetheart, I promise. He'll be back." Larissa says.

"So are we gonna see him again?"

"Yeah. Yeah, someday."

"He missed Christmas. Is he gonna miss my birthday?" Athena asks.

"I don't know, baby." Larissa sighs.

+++

Cas, Mary, and Larissa are sitting in a bar and Athena is asleep on Larissa's lap.

"Thanks for meeting me. I just wanted to say... I'm sorry. I was angry and... Sam and Dean, that's not your fault." Mary tells Cas.

"No, you were right. I should never have left them. I... have you heard anything?" Cas asks.

"All my law enforcement contacts or retired... or dead. I'm trying, but..." Mary trails off. "You guys?" Cas shakes his head.

"Nothing but a toddler with a possible onset of daddy issues." Larissa mutters.