Ayesha hasn't woken up since I put her to sleep last night so I had to take care of the kids this morning. I sent Riley and Ryan off to school and now I was just chilling on the couch until it was time to leave for practice.
Now that I'm by myself, I can finally dissect what happened last night. The last thing I expected was for Alani to show up at my house, with Ayesha at that. It completely threw me off. Alani obviously looked different since the last time I saw her, her graduation in 2010 that is.
I was hiding in the crowd secretly watching my Ally do something so many people said she couldn't. She got her degree and I was proud of her. It hurt not being to celebrate with her but I knew I was the last person she wanted to see, especially with how we ended things. I knew I broke her heart but I needed to make a decision I knew would work out well for me in the future. Sure, Alani looks like she's changed but I've always had a hard time trusting her so I had to think about myself in that moment. Was I in love with Ayesha when we got married? No, but I had to teach myself how to love her because I know that she's what I need in this life that I've built.
I'll admit, it was hard to let Alani go, but I had to if I wanted to make my marriage last. I needed to stop checking in with her mother about what she was doing and focus on my wife. So I stopped keeping tabs on Ally and let her go for real.
However, now that've seen her again, I can't help but wonder what she's been up to. I grab my phone out of my pocket and type her name out on Instagram.
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alani new beginnings @lagence 🤍✨
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alani almost summer right? @lagence
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