Of Life And Hope

·.¸¸.·♩♪♫ 🄲🄷🄰🄿🅃🄴🅁 26 - 🄷🄴🄻🄿 ♫♪♩·.¸¸.·

You did and managed to even eat an apple before walking out the door with Sam and Steve.

"Are you ready for this?" Sam asked, looking at how tired you were.

You held back another sigh and managed a smile. "Sure."

-~:~-

You were messing around with a pocket knife out of boredom, waiting for Wanda to come into your room. You had finally decided to ask for help with your memories. You thought that maybe if she could view them, she could at least tell you what they are.

[I know this is a bit rushed at the moment but I quite literally have no idea how to connect two major plot points and have a vague idea of what I want to happen throughout the story as a little bonus so here goes my best attempt.]

"Hey," she greeted, "what did you need?"

"Please close the door," you said, putting the knife away.

She smiled awkwardly. "If you were anyone else, I'd think you want to murder me. Y'know, the knife and all."

You rolled your eyes with a chuckle. "Quite the opposite, actually. I need help."

"Ooh, is it a boy?" she gushed.

You rolled your eyes again. "No. Take a seat."

She sat down, understanding the seriousness of the situation.

"I, uh, I haven't told this to anyone except for Peter," you started, Wanda keeping silent as a way of encouraging you to continue. "And I've been thinking about it a lot lately, since last week's movie night actually.

Loki offered to help me figure out who my family is and I've been thinking about my past a lot since then. And, well, the thing is, some of my memories, anything before the orphanages, is completely blocked out. And I can't bring them back. I've tried, of course, but it always causes me to pass out. They were also the reason for that scream, you know, the morning we had the shopping trip, I think.

Wanda nodded.

"And well, since I can't bring them back, I was wondering if you could... view them, and, well..."

"Tell you what happened?" Wanda asked, finishing for you.

"Yeah," you nodded.

"Okay," she nodded, summoning a bit of magic, "relax."

You let a deep breath out, leaning against the end of the bed.

In just a bit of time, you could feel magic poking at your mind.

Memories flashed before your eyes, going further and further in time.

For a moment you thought about how Wanda will know absolutely everything you've ever done. Then you shook the thought off - if this worked, it would be worth it.

The memories stopped and you were surrounded by darkness, your ears ringing. Somewhere far far away, you could hear Wanda grunting, probably also feeling the worsening headache that came with trying to go through the barrier.

You don't have to go through with this, you told Wanda in your mind, that being the only thing to echo through the darkness besides the high-pitched ringing.

You felt as if your head was starting to crack but you knew it was just the barrier.

You felt you were starting to sweat and colored dots started invading the darkness under your eyelids. You grunted, another flash of pain shooting through your head.

You figured Wanda felt it, too, because you heard a noise of pain from her.

"You can stop," you forced through your teeth.

She didn't answer, instead, you felt another wave of pain.

You bit your tongue to keep in a yell of pain and you heard Wanda straining.

You heard a bang.

Then the ringing stopped and the pressure from your head released, making you hear your own panting.

As you blinked your eyes open, astonished by the daylight, you saw that Wanda had been thrown across the room. That must've been the bang you heard.

"I'm so sorry," you said, breathless, "did I do that?"

"It's alright," she said, "you didn't do it on purpose."

You gave her a hand to pull her up and felt that she was sweaty from the strain, too.

"Wow," she chuckled, "you've had to deal with that your whole life."

You shrugged, frowning a bit. "Yeah. I'm so sorry I asked you to do that."

"No, it's not your fault," she denied, "you didn't force me. I knew it would hurt."

You looked at her, seeing her in another light now. You hadn't realized how much she cared for people.

She saw your expression and opened her arms, inviting you to a hug.

You accepted it.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you," Wanda said as you pulled away.

"I didn't have high expectations," you tried to joke but it came out rather miserable.

You both sighed.

"See you at dinner?" you asked.

"Of course," she smiled and left.

You groaned, holding your head. You could feel that it was a mess. I've gotta take a shower.