A immortal and a Widow (Natasha x reader)

Just wake up

Y/n pov

"Isn't she supposed to wake up soon?" i ask Helen as she enters the medbuy, someone i've just gotten to know pretty well. "I mean, it's been hours."

"Breath Y/n. She's strong, she'll pull through" Steve says as he also enters the room. And i know she's strong, but teleporting that distance when we aren't close, it's not easy. I know that. But also being out of practice, she hasn't used any kind of power in six years.

"Y/n, you should get something to eat, i'll call you if she wakes up" Helen says and i search his words.

"If?" my voice is almost trembling.

"I'm sorry, i should have said when she wakes up, no go" she says in a more sincere voice. But she's right, i still hadn't in what? Five hours now since we got back. And before that, five weeks apparently.

"I don't need to eat, i need her to wake up" i answer, refusing to leave Natasha's bedside. Even though i'm pretty sure i'll only be there to leave. I can't bear watching her after hearing her scream for that long. I don't know if i can do that. What i would do if i ever heard it again? What if i would freeze and she would get hurt because of it.

"Then go talk to Tony or your brother instead. I promise you, she's in safe hands" Steve says with more authority in his voice than Helen. I can see how he became the leader, but i wouldn't have been surprised if it had been Tony. Nah, he just pays for everything. I meet his worried gaze as i sign. He's right, me sitting on my ass won't help her right now.

"Vampy, could you come up here now?" We all hear Tony over the speakers. Great, now he has a new nickname for me. I sign again as i make my way to the elevator.

"Tony?" i say as i walk into the kitchen. A strange look from him with clear questions. How did i know they were in the kitchen? "I think you already know the answer to that" i know they do, i hear Natasha tell them.

"Yeah he knows, but i would still like an explanation for it all" Clint says with the same tone. He seems more curious than scared or confused. It does make me more relaxed actually.

"I guess there's not much to hiding it anymore. But knowing you were in the kitchen, i asked FRIDAY. I had a feeling you wouldn't like me to snoop. And you all need a shower" i say, finishing the last off with a small laugh that Bucky joins sofly in on. When i stop i start to tell them everything, well almost everything. Okay not even close to everything, just the basic story. How i became like this and what i've been doing during the last 70 years. But i choose to gracefully skip the details on how Christopher managed to get me to marry him, for my brother's sake.

"Miss Barnes, your presence is requested in the med buy" FRIDAY says over the speakers and before anyone has time to notice it, i'm gone. Wanda, Clint, Bucky, Tony, Steve and Thor all just standing there and looking after me. I can feel their discomfort of me using my inhuman abilities, even though the super soldiers got similar. But it's hard to stop using them, they have been all i've had for the last 70 years. My inhuman abilities, that they fear far more than my bloodthirst. Their first mistake.

"She's beginning to wake up and i thought that maybe you should be the first thing she sees" Helena says as i come into the medbay. She meets me by the doorway, not wanting to step to close, waiting for me to pass her. As i don't, she steps past me. Her pulse skyrocketed but not out of fear, of something else.

"I will come back down here in an hour" she says before leaving, leaving me standing, frozen in the doorway. Looking over at Natasha who's starting to wake up. She was hurt because of me, because she needed to save me. I'm only ever going to give her pain, i can't give her the life she deserves. Extra tourture, attention by some high evil people, seeing me being tortured. That's what i can give her. Being with me could even get her back on the Red Rooms raidar. I know she took them down... but what they don't know is that they didn't succeed. Maybe i should leave, maybe that's the right thing to do now. if i leave, it may hurt for awhile but she'll get over it. I could leave a note for Bucky and just leave. Everyone would be better off without me... safer. Just like i told Tony in the car that day.

Natasha pov

I wake up with a painful jerk, cold hands on my shoulder holding me down to the bed again. Cold hands that don't feel cold, not for me. I tilt my head her way as i admire her face, lips and eyes. Eyes, who are still golden brown... meaning you hadn't eaten yet. I know why i'm not shaking with fear but why aren't the rest of the team?

"Breath Solnechnyy svet, we're safe" she says with a calming voice, as she takes her hands back to keep them in her knees. I feel how she backs away like she's going to hurt me. I know you won't, no matter what. That small fake smile on your lips creates tears in my eyes, but i blink them away. "You know you had me hella worried" she says as she sits down on the chair next to the bed. Not close enough for me to reach you, but still close.

"Well you're the one who got kidnapped for five weeks" i answer and she chuckles. I know how she knows how i noticed her eyes and that i know the meaning of that. The quiet lies in the room and i see how she listens to the others higher up. I just want to drag her into my arms, lay her beside me in the bed and just, i want to cry. I can't see you like this, like you don't want to live anymore. But i won't survive it if you leave.