Ad Infinitum (Remus Lupin X Reader)

LI • Melior

LI • Melior • Better

It was late in the morning by the time Remus arrived at the hospital wing, stumbling through the doors.

"Remus," I breathed from where I was situated in front of the doors. I lept to my feet, ignoring the ache in my bones as I rushed to him. "Oh, God, Remus."

He was a complete wreck. He was limping, pale and weak, and what remained of his clothes were shredded, barely hanging onto his body. He was littered with fresh scratches and bites, dried blood crusting around each one. He mumbled something unintelligible and leaned into me when I braced him beneath his arm.

I directed him to his usual cot and tried to lower him gently, but he was like dead weight, and he collapsed into the cot, breathing heavily.

"I'll get Madam Pomfrey," I said and backed away from him, worried out of my mind. I hated to leave him unattended while I fetched the healer, but he looked dreadful as his chest heaved with every labored breath, eyes shut tightly and knuckles white.

The woman was quick to get to work on him, having perfected her routine already. She busied over him while I hovered just out of the way, watching as she bandaged up cuts and gave him potions to drink. He didn't fight her, too tired to do much besides endure it.

Once she was finished, she smiled at me and left us alone, pulling the curtain shut behind her. Eyebrows furrowed deep, I took a seat beside his cot. His eyes were barely open as he forced a small smile.

"Hey," he mumbled.

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

"A bit like I've been run over by a bus. But not the worst I've felt," he said and offered another small smile.

"You scared me," I said, frowning. "You should have taken your potion with you."

"I know," he said. "I made many mistakes, last night, and so many other nights. I have so much to apologize for. I want to apologize for everything, right now."

"No, Remus, you have to rest. And I have to apologize about the map. I didn't mean-"

Remus cut me off. "Sirius Black and I were friends when we were in school," he said. "That's what I've been hiding."

I blinked at him, swallowing thickly. "What? That's it?"

"That's it. Everything that I keep from you- that I kept from you- was to keep you from knowing that I was friends with the man who killed everyone I loved. I was ashamed and I didn't want you to know that I knew him. That I was friends with him."

"Rem..."

"And... I knew he was here. Well, I suppose I didn't know. But I suspected it. And the morning when you brought me out to see the sunrise, when I told you that I was upset because of the moon. It wasn't that. While we were there, you told me about a dog you met on the grounds. I realized it was Sirius. He's an animagus. I knew then that he was here but I still didn't want to believe it, or to confess that I knew about his secret."

"He said he had met me. I thought he was crazy," I breathed as Remus took a moment to collect his thoughts.

"And the map," he began.

"No, Remus, it's fine. You don't have to explain. You need rest."

Remus ignored me, pushing himself into a sitting position with a quiet hiss. "The map. I created it when I was in school with my friends. James, and Peter, and Sirius. I knew that if you saw it, you would ask questions. And I knew I would answer you. I would have been glad to tell you about the map until you would inevitably ask about who Padfoot was. I didn't want you to know I knew Sirius. I was ashamed that I had been friends with someone so... so terrible.