46: What's meant to be

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Renjun

School wasn't regular this fine Tuesday. Not one second of it did it feel like an everyday instance. Just this tension rolling off of all the people around me made me wonder what Jaemin hadn't told me. Well, I mean, Chenle was acting as usual--all lovey-dovey with his boyfriend-- so much that they continued what they were doing, and that only left me in a very awkward situation.

First, it was the way that Donghyuck kept on glancing up at me in class as we did our parts of our project which--by the way--we were meant to work on yesterday but he ended up ditching me for some stupid reason. Anyway, then, it was the fact that Jaemin didn't go to the nurse's room during lunch and instead, surprisingly, Donghyuck, Mark, and Jeno sat with us. That part was filled with awkward silence (besides Chenle and Jisung who were as oblivious as a newborn would be) and a lot of moving food around with our utensils.

Did they even notice what they were doing?

It was obvious that they were checking on each other while trying to cooly play it off and while on one part it was hilarious, on the other one it was sorta pitiful. Frankly, they already scream relationship, in my opinion. They seem like a relationship where they have just gotten into an argument and while they were still pissed off, they inevitably cared for one another.

Except that these four looked about ready to pass out from nerves. Well, Jeno contained it pretty well, I guess.

It was endearing, really.

Anyhow, lunch came to an end and the four only gave short waves of goodbye to each other while they gave me an acknowledging nod. Pfft, I'm worth so much more. A whole parade would be more like it, I roll my eyes internally. I'll let it go this time, I thought as they three walked in a line. Mark was leading, then Donghyuck and Jeno followed half-heartedly. Even though he pretended not to give a shit, it was obvious he did.

Jaemin begins to walk away after gathering his backpack and placing it on his back but I'm quick to grab onto his forearm, stopping him, leading to him turning to give me a confused expression. "What?" He asks.

I glance from him to the now-empty hall that the three disappeared through. "What the fuck happened? Yesterday, you were just with Mark and barely looking at the other two and now, suddenly, we're sitting with them during lunch?!" I say in exasperation, demanding answers.

Now, I know that he doesn't necessarily have to tell me anything if he doesn't want to. However, by opening up to me about his feelings for them, it gave me access to demand this. It's like a rule between us. We know the limits and I know that this is nowhere close to that. We're best friends. Sharing our love lives is at the top of the list of demands.

He rubs his nape, chuckling awkwardly. "Okay, something big happened yesterday."

"How big are we talking? Mars or Jupiter?" I question seriously.

"Jupiter. Actually, the size of the whole solar system." He says it glancing around the empty cafeteria as the last bell rings, meaning we should be in class. I expect him to make a fuss out of it just to stall this talk but he doesn't. He takes my wrist and drags me off. I stumble a couple of times, startled, and my feet only cooperate after three or four steps.

We stop in front of one of the janitor's closets, Jaemin testing the handle out before shoving me into the room. "Jaem, I know I'm hot and all but there are three men in this school who would kill me if anything inappropriate happens in here," I joke, lightening the mood significantly. He laughs, his cheeks tinted a light red hue as he leans on one of the walls. After a second or two, our laughs quiet down and the atmosphere becomes slightly serious. "So," I drag out. "What happened?" I have a feeling this was something good so I'm not too sure how I should be acting. I mean, if it's positive should I have a smile on my face and start jumping up and down? But what if it isn't and I'm misinterpreting everything?

Thankfully, there isn't too much spare time for my imagination to run wild since Jaemin speaks after around three seconds. "It happened. I confessed to them. That's how big it is. Like the confession. Everything included. The whole 'I wanna date you' and 'I like you three' and 'I am polyamorous' whole scenario," he rants out quickly, his thumb fingernail going into his mouth as soon as he finishes.

If I wasn't his best friend, I would guess that he's still anxious at the simple thought of what had happened but as his best friend I know that he's still anxious over the happenings.

He must be thinking a lot and questioning everything over and over again.

If there was anything that I ever pitied Jaemin for, it's this. The overthinking that he does. The mentality he has that nothing good will ever happen to him. Maybe he doesn't realize it, but I do and sometimes I wonder what happened that made him this way. Maybe it was him losing his father or perhaps he was just born that way. Either way, I know that he doesn't deserve all the questioning because he should know that he is simply one of the best, most beautiful people I have ever gotten the pleasure of meeting.

I walk over to him, placing my hands gently on either of his shoulders. "Relax, okay? You're okay. You did it and from the way that they acted, it went well. Stop thinking about it. They like you already and there is no doubt in my mind that they'll fall in love with you." I smile at him, hoping to reassure him at least an ounce.

It seemed to have worked since he let out a breath and let his shoulders relax after a sharp, thoughtful second. "What if it doesn't work out?" He asks in a vulnerable whisper, making my heart melt.

"Then it won't. If it's not meant to be, then it won't but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try this. You can be scared, Jaem, but don't let it stop you from doing what you want now."

He instantly drops his head on my shoulder and I wrap my arms around him. "But," I continue, a grin taking over my lips. "I have a good damn feeling that it'll work out."

"Do you mean it?" He questions quietly.

"I've never meant anything more than this."

"Okay."

"Okay?" I ask, raising a brow as we separate.

"Yes, okay. I will try my hardest and I'll make this work," he tells me with determination. "If it's not meant to be, then it won't. But this is now and I know what I want," he smiles. "I'm meeting up with them after school," he informs as he opens the door.

"Well, I wish you luck, soldier," I say jokingly, saluting him with one hand while I put my arm around his shoulder. He simply rolls his eyes at my remark as we walk off.


A/N: Renjun POV ????? SURPRISEE

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