15: Dreaming

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Jaemin

It's funny.

Yesterday, I was jumping up and down and was still ecstatic over the date I had with Mark-Hyung even if it had been cut short after seeing Jeno. I was still happy over it, yes, but there were other feelings over it. Maybe it's me feeling nervous, maybe scared. 

In a way, it feels like a dream. Saturday was me on the clouds and I in this dull classroom is me awake. Who knows? Maybe every encounter that I've had with the three of them I was actually just asleep and I've been fooling myself all this time. 

The bell rings and I'm extra slow to put all my materials in my bag before walking out of the room, dreading going to the last period. To think that just a week ago math class was my favorite, funny. 

When I walk in, Mark and I instantly make eye contact and I find it hard to not return the wide smile he gives me, so I reciprocate it. I take my seat in the back, taking out my notebook and other materials. Soon enough, the bell rings which has students rushing inside at the last minute, bowing to the teacher who just glares at them. The lecture then begins with a good afternoon and I find it hard to not look at Mark-Hyung's side profile from my desk. He was furrowing his eyebrows in concentration, nodding every now and then as he looked at Mrs. Kim intently. 

When he turns to look my way, I'm quick to divert my eyes down, pretending to be writing down the notes. 

"Any questions?" Mrs. Kim asks and I raise my hand. She makes a surprised expression. "Yes, Mr. Na?"

"Could I go to the nurse's office? I'm not feeling too well," I say as I give her an apologetic yet awkward smile. 

She smiles back, nodding in response before returning to what she was previously saying. I catch my eyes with Mark-Hyung's as I walk out and I simply smile at him and he does as well but his carried concern. At that simple action, my stomach is swarmed with butterflies.

'I'm asleep, I'm asleep, I'm asleep,' I try to convince myself, walking towards the office since the infirmary was through there. 

I couldn't take it right now. Every time I made eye contact with one of the three, an overwhelming feeling came. I used to love that feeling, simply watching them made me feel on could 9 but right now it has me feeling guilty. I like the three, I know I do, but the thing is that they don't. Not that Jeno or Donghyuck would care but I've gone on a date with Mark-Hyung now and clearly, we're both feeling the same for each other. But he doesn't know that there are other people in my heart. It's unfair to him, really.

I enter the nurse's office, confused seeing that there was no one at the desk but then I hear some rustling behind one of the curtains that gave privacy to someone using the beds. I slowly headed over there, only a couple of inches away. Through a small gap, I could see Ms. Kwon, our school nurse, preparing some things to treat the person who was sitting on the bed. When she moved her head slightly I gasped, seeing Lee Jeno.

"Where is it?" She questioned as if it were a normal routine.

Without a word, the male rolls up his sleeve and a quiet hiss escapes my mouth, seeing the full wound. Ms. Kwon herself seemed to have the same reaction as me before looking worried. "Who was it this time?" She sighs, looking through her cabinets. 

He was about to answer, opening his mouth slightly but his eyes roamed up and he seemed to have spotted me making me quickly rush out of sight. "No one. I'm just clumsy and stupid. I was out for a smoke out back and fell," I heard him respond to her and I could picture the monotone expression he wore and the shrug he gave her. It was a lie and I could hear right through it, I didn't expect Ms. Kwon to believe it.

But she did. 

"First of all, never tell me you smoke again, I don't want to know about your outside business. Second of all, hand them over," she says, extending her arm to him. With an eye roll, he obliged. "Thirdly, be careful. Getting hurt is not a joke." She was serious saying it and the only thing I heard Jeno answer with was a hum and then I heard a quiet hiss.

Soon enough, she came out of the curtained cubicle and she instantly gasped in shock when she saw me sitting on a chair by the entrance. I smiled at her awkwardly, going to the extent of raising up a hand to wave before mentally slapping myself and putting it down. "I just needed a pill for a headache?" I said, the statement coming out as a question and making the situation a hundred times more awkward.

She let out an airy laugh, putting a hand over her chest area. "You should have made your presence known, you gave me a big shock," she told me, walking to the cabinet behind her desk and reaching for something inside. 

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely.

"It's alright." She smiled sweetly at me, handing me a white pill. "You can get some water from over there," she pointed at the water dispenser at the opposite corner of the room, "and if you need to, you can rest for a while on one of the beds." 

She grinned at me before walking off and I simply smiled back at her with a bow before walking to the dispenser. I got one of the triangle disposable cups and poured some water in before popping the pill in and drinking the water. I then walked to the unoccupied bed which was next to the one Jeno was occupying. Through a small gap, I could see him turning to look at the ceiling with closed eyes.

I closed my own eyes as well after a couple of seconds, completely forgetting that school was still going on, and instead let my drowsiness overtake me.


 A/N; how the writing process of this chapter went:

the times I've rewritten this chapter are immaculate jchsjfnkf

HELP ME

we can do this we can do this we can do this !!!!!

no i can'tttttttttttt

WHAT THE FUCK DO I WRITE

JAEMIN SEND ME A SIGN

YOU CAN'T HAVE DONGHYUCK REALIZE HIS FEELINGS SO EARLY ONNNN

OKAY let's just not tell jaemin anything okay okay

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