20: Curiosity killed the cat

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Jaemin

"Where are you going, again?" Renjun asks me, his arms crossed over his chest and a serious, stern expression on his face, his lips tugged down into a frown. "And can you be honest this time?" 

I laugh nervously. "I told you. I've been helping Mrs. Kim."

"Yeah? With what exactly?" He questions, his face increasingly showing more frustration and a mixture of disappointment.

"Just making copies and such. Grading... you know? That sort of stuff."

He didn't believe me, it was evident. How could he? I was the worst at lying. Especially to him. He knows me inside and out.

"I thought I was your best friend. I thought that you trusted me. I've tried being patient, Jaemin, I really have, but it hurts to think, to suppose, that you are keeping something from me," his eyes became glossy. I pressed my lips together. I want to tell him, I really do but maybe this isn't the time?

He sighs, shifting on his feet. "Talk to me when you are ready to talk," he mumbles, turning around and walking to the cafeteria.

"Ren-" I cut myself off, knowing he was too far already to hear me. I wanted to reach out to tell him something, anything but he was already far gone once I came back to my sense. My shoulders slumped, disappointed in myself. Why was it so difficult this time? I know how much he cares about me, how much I care about him. He always accepts me, from the time I came out to the time when we were ten and I stole a piece of gum from the supermarket which we later came back to pay for. Even if I was conscious of all this, I was still apprehensive. 

I let out a huff and turn on my heel, walking slowly to my destination. When I arrive at the nurse's office, I smile hello at Ms. Kwon and as I sit down on my usual seat, I take a glance at Jeno and realized he was already looking at me. With curiosity. Why?

"Well, boys, I'll be going out to get some lunch. I can trust you to behave in here, right?" She questions as she picks up her belonging.

I glance at Jeno but he was no longer looking. "Of course, Ms. Kwon," I tell her with a slight grin.

She removes her Doctor coat, setting it on her chair before picking her purse up. She smiles at me as she passes in front of me. I don't know if I imagine it but I think she... winked at me? I frown in confusion at that but didn't let it get to me.

Instead, I take my book out. A new one that I was just about to start. "A Northern Light" by Jennifer Donnelly.

I open the book with the intention of starting it but found myself staring at the first page where the title is imprinted. I was having a hard time even reading that part. I knew that title so why didn't I just move on to the story just like any normal person? I don't know, I was stuck somehow, for some reason.

And then my mind roamed to Renjun.

I hate having fights with him. We've been attached to the hip since third grade when he moved from China to Korea and even a day without talking to him would feel eternal. I know that from experience. His temper is not the best. I wanted to tell him. He was the first person I wanted to tell once I had come to terms that I wanted to be with three people. But I was scared. Sue me. Like I said, this was different. Completely different. He's an open-minded person but would he go to this extent? I sure hoped so but... I don't know. I don't even know why I'm doubting him. He's Huang Renjun. My Huang Renjun, I had to feel assured with that fact because I know this guy. I've known him my whole life.

But why was I still scared?

"You look like an idiot," I hear a voice say. My head instantly shots up and my eyes set on the only other person in the room who happens to be looking at me with an unamused expression, sitting on the infirmary bed. "You've been staring at that book since you got here. I don't think a title is that interesting." He turns his head to his right side after saying that, looking uninterested. At least that's what it seemed like he wanted to look but the curiosity seeped through and I almost smirked at that. "I can feel you staring at me now. Stop it." He groans and lays back on the bed.

"You can just say you're curious about what's on my mind. We're friends, right?" I ask in a hopeful voice. So maybe I was pushing my luck here, but when would I ever get this opportunity again? He has never directed a word at me with the exception of our first encounter and the last time he snapped at me.

He stayed quiet for some time. A long time.

My hopeful expression started to deteriorate and my gaze traveled back down to the book on my lap. But then he spoke after he sat up. "Aren't you gonna tell me?" He asks and I almost audibly laugh.

"Curiosity killed the cat," I say, stifling my laugh.

He stays silent for a while again, a shorter while, but when he spoke again he said, "But satisfaction brought it back." He had this reminiscing kind of look on his face which now made me the curious one but he quickly shook the look off and instead glared at me. "I don't need to know and frankly, I don't care."

I grin, looking at him even though he didn't return the eye contact. "I had a small fight with my friend, that's all," I tell him, as simple as possible. My smile turned sad and I turn my head back down. Was I telling him this because I had a crush on him or because I trusted him? I wouldn't know the answer. Something I did know, however, was that he would keep anything I tell him to himself. I just knew.

"Why?" He asked.

At that question, I realized one big difference he has from Mark and Donghyuck. Jeno is blunt but knows where to draw the line, Mark stays out of personal business, while Donghyuck is curious but polite. And I like each of them for their differences.

"He knows I'm keeping something from him and he confronted me about it," I answer.

He stays quiet after that. The line. "I don't know your friend and I don't know you but I would tell him. Just from looking at you, I can tell that you want to. If he's truly your friend, then you have nothing to be afraid of," he advises blankly before laying back down, putting an arm over his eyes which let me know that the conversation was over.

It's exactly what I had been thinking but hearing it out loud, from a different perspective, made me believe it even more. So, with confidence, I take  my phone out of my pocket and text Renjun.

ME:
Meet me after school? My house?

Renjun responded not even a minute later which drew a smile to my lips.

JUNNIE:
I'll be there you asshole.

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