The Cries of an Outlander Lass

Chapter 11

The next morning we started our travels again. I didn't enjoy having to lay in a wagon all day, but there was no other way for me to travel at the moment. The men have always been careful with and around me; however, it has risen to another level with my injuries. Jamie and Murtagh, I can understand. One is my husband, the other my brother-in-law, but the others just make me want to scream.

On our fifth day, I had enough. Had enough of the men always tip-toeing around me, always checking to make sure that I had enough blankets, and tired of them carrying me around. Claire and Jamie have split off from the group, and I have decided that I want to walk around. Willie has been left on Isabella duty as the others are watering the horses. I sit up and slowly make my way to the wagon's edge, "Willie," I call to him once there.

"Yes, Mistress Fraser," he walks over to me.

"Help me down."

"Mistress Claire would have my hide if she found out."

"I have been lying down all day for the past five days," I wrap the plaid that Murtagh bought me around my shoulders again, "if I don't move around sum, I will grow weak, and it will delay the trip even more."

He quickly looks around, making sure the others are not in sight or not paying attention, "Just to that rock there," he points to a rock not even twenty feet away.

"Deal."

He helps me down, then lets me adjust my plaid before wrapping an arm around me for support. I am dressed normally, but I get colder easier since I can't move around as much. It took us a few minutes to reach the rock, but once we did, I sat down and stretched my legs and back. Willie was hovering, and it got worst as time passed. The longer I was out of the wagon, the greater chance that the men would find out. Unforanitly for me, the men soon returned, making me face the music. 

"Dè tha thu a' smaoineachadh a tha thu a' dèanamh?" (What do you think you are doing?) Angus almost demands as soon as I am in his sight.

"A' faighinn tlachd às an èadhar ùr. Dè a tha e dhut?" (Enjoying the fresh air. What is it to you?)

"Claire said that ye are to rest," Rupert joins him.

"If I can't walk, at least when we rest once or twice a day, I will come up lame," I raise to my feet and start to shuffle my way to the fire.

"Leave the Lass alone," Dougal states, "We'll let Claire and Murtagh deal with it."

I turn and see that both of them, along with Jamie, are making their way into camp as he speaks. I mumble under my breath and try and make it to the fire before they can see me. However, I am not that lucky, it seems, because Claire's normal cursing phrase fills the air, "What do you think you are doing," she demands.

"Stretching my legs."

"You should be resting," She comes over to me, wrapping her arm around me, "Let's get you back into the wagon an-"

"I'm fine," I snap, pushing her arm off of me, "I need to move around. I'm not a baby, and I have the same training that you have."

The men stop their conversations and cast side glances at each other. They have never seen me this way before. Jamie moves closer to Claire; Murtagh stays put but keeps his eye on me, "Lass," Jamie starts, "we just want ye to hea-"

"Fuirich a-mach à seo. Tha seo eadar mise agus mo phiuthar." (Stay out of this. This is between me and my sister.)

"Isabella?"

I know from conversations, the men didn't understand French. Maybe a word or two at the most My main question was if Ned understood it, "Ned, si vous pouvez comprendre cela, vous ne devez jamais le répéter ou vous ne vous réveillerez pas un jour." (Ned, if you can understand this then you are to never repeat it or you will not wake up one day.)

"I think I will go and relieve myself," Ned offers before quickly leaving the campsite.

"Whatever-"

"En français Claire." (In French Claire.)

"Quoi que j'aie fait pour te contrarier, je suis désolé." (Whatever I did to upset you, I am sorry.)

"Tu ne me traites jamais comme un adulte."( You never treat me like an adult.) I answer her, "Tu prends toujours la décision pour moi comme avant qu'on arrive ici. Me faire venir avec toi." (You always make the decision for me like with before we got here. Making me come with you.")

"Je voulais juste aider. JE..." (I just wanted to help. I...) 

"Vous n'avez jamais demandé. J'avais une vie. Peut-être pas celui que tu aimais, mais c'était le mien. J'avais un poste en vue !" (You never asked. I had a life. Maybe not one you liked, but it was mine. I had a job lined up!) I shouted. Jamie put himself between use. Murtagh came closer but came to my side wrapping his arm around my waist, "J'avais enfin quelque chose qui allait m'appartenir. Que j'avais gagné, mais tu m'as entraîné." (I finally had something that was going to be mine. That I had earned, but you dragged me along.)

"I'm sorry," Claire whispers.

"Sorry doesn't fix everything Claire," I huff. Removing myself from my husband's grip I move form the group towards the stream the men had watered the horses at.  WIth an arm wrapped around my waist I slowly make my way to the bank. The soft thud behind me tells me that someone is watching. I somehow get myself settled on the ground and I just look out over the view. A slight breeze makes anything with height gentle bend as it makes its path cross the highlands. 

"I don't know what Claire did to make ye so angry," Jamie starts. I am somewhat surprised that it is him and not Murtagh. He sit down beside me, "But, I do know tha' she cares deeply for ye Little Sassenach."

"She treats me like I am still 12," I keep starring out at the highlands, "I know she told you all about what happened to me. Ever since I was found she has acted like a mother hen." 

"Well she loves you adn doesn't want ye hurt."

I face him, "How did you feel after you got your scars, how did other people treat you?"

"Angry, confused."

"And how did people treat you," he gives me confused look, "When you were healing people didn't let you start doing things right away, correct," he nods at my question, "Now, your better. Let's take Murtagh, for conversation purposes, never let you pick up a sword after that. Or always helped you with your chores. How would you feel."

"I see," Jamie states after taking it all in.

"Now add in the chance to go with Dougal the first time and on one of these trips but instead Murtagh takes you somewhere else when the trip was to take place."

"Claire did that."

"I had gotten the offer for a position and the next morning Claire shows up and takes me with her. Wouldn't tell me how long we would be gone or where we were headed."

"So you think that everything that has happened is her fault?"

"No, what Randall did to me is not anyone fault but his. However, I never had the chance to do something for myself, make my own mistakes, or fall in love. Murtagh has always been kind to me but I do not love him like a husband," I look Jamie in the eye, "I don't know what that type of love is. I haven't had a chance to figure things out. Some one is always there, always crowding me and most of the time it is Claire. I just need some time to figure things out."

Unknown to me at that time I would be getting the space I need form Claire. However not in the way that I expected or wanted. 

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Just a quick thank you to everyone for hanging in there. Hope you enjoyed and the next chapter will be this week.