Eighteen

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My head is pounding, it feels heavy, my throat is dry and I feel exhausted but fresh at the same time. It feels like I'm laying on a cloud, with the sun shining down on my eyes. My eyelids are heavy, but after a few tries, I get them open. I look around the room I'm in, my body is laying under a white sheet in a metal hospital bed, an IV is standing next to me with a line in my arm, a bag is standing next to the wall beneath the window, and Matthew is sleeping in a chair in the corner with what I guess is Lizzie's jacket lying on top of him. 

He looks tired and sad, his eyes are puffy and his cheeks are red, his hair is messy and looks greasy and his clothes look comfortable but dirty. He stirs in his sleep and his flicker open, we make eye contact and he calls out for Lizzie who is outside on the phone. 

He gets out of his chair and walks over to me, running his hand on top of my head and kissing my forehead. "Water, please," I cough and he pours me a glass and hands it to me. I'm quick to empty it and my throat doesn't feel as dry anymore. 

"What; What happened?" I ask him. He looks over at Lizzie and they both look at me, "What?" 

"You don't remember? You OD'ed last night, one of your friends called an ambulance and another called me," Lizzie explains. 

"I what? No, no that's not true I'm not suicidal I don't want to kill myself, you've got this all wrong it was an accident, I miscalculated and took too many by accident," I tell them both and my heart starts beating faster making my heart monitor beep. 

"Y/n," Matthew hesitates and looks at me like he thinks I tried to kill myself. 

"No, don't start, you know me, Matthew, I'm your baby sister you know me, you know I wouldn't do that," I say and begin to cry, I'm scared about what's going to happen. 

"Exactly, you are my baby sister, which is also how I know that you need help, you need somebody to talk to that isn't me, Elizabeth, or any of your other friends. I also know that you probably want something to eat right around now," I laugh at the last thing he says and agree with him. 

He and Lizzie agree on going to go get some pizza from a real pizzeria and not the hospital cafeteria and tell me to call if I need anything. 

"Knock knock," I hear someone say and look towards the door, it's Scarlett, "I don't know if you wanna see me right now but Lizzie called and I just wanted to make sure you were okay," She says, and looks down at her feet, clearly disappointed in her own actions. 

"It's okay, come in, you can drag a chair over, just put Matthew's stuff on the floor," I tell her and she does. 

She sits next to me in silence for a good 5 minutes, which is really awkward, and as far as I can tell we both have things we want to say but don't know how to. Her hands are placed gently on the railing on my bed, I reach my own hand up and grab onto hers, squeezing it lightly, "Say what you need to say," I tell her and she looks at me confused before lowering her shoulders and taking a deep breath. 

"Did you do it on purpose because of me?" Her voice cracks in the middle of the sentence, her eyes fill with water, and her lower lip quivers. 

"No, I didn't do it on purpose at all, it was an accident caused by mixing things you're not supposed to be mixing, and if anything it wouldn't be your fault, ever," I assure her. 

Tears mixed with mascara runs down her cheek and she lets out a sigh in relief, "I'm sorry," She blurts out, and wipes her cheek with her white sleeve. 

"It's okay I think, we're going to have to talk about it, but right now I just wanna wait for pizza," I say making her laugh. 

"Yeah, we do need to talk and figure some things out, I just; We need to take it slow, and do like actual friend things first before everything else," She says, I nod and tilt my head back. 

"I can do that, so just friends, nothing more, but friends with or without like talking on the phone and hanging out at each other's places?" I ask her. 

"With, well unless we're only going to stay at my place then we're not going to be friends that hang out at each other's places," She laughs. 

"I'm moving back to my apartment when I get out of here unless they lock me up and throw away the key," 

"First, I would never do that Lizzie wouldn't let me even if I tried to, and two, we have pizza," Matthew says as they walk in the door, Scarlett grabs her things and walk towards the door. 

"You're not staying?" Lizzie asks her and looks at her with puppy eyes. 

"I'm not sure Y/n would-" 

"Stay, you can stay," I smile at her and she sits back down. 

Lizzie and Matthew put the pizzas on top of my legs and Matthew lifts two chairs over for them to sit at,  "Oh so I'm an object now? That's not very feminist," I pout and cross my arms the best I can without ripping out my IV. 

"Even while knocking on death's door you joke, god you are a piece of work," Matthew says and shakes his head. 

"Eat your pizza, and let me complain," I demand and he nods and eats the slice in his hand. 

"By the way, I told the others, about Alex, and they all; Well I haven't spoken to them about it since last night but I think they're gonna throw him out the friend group," I say and they all stop what they're doing and look at me. 

"That's good, that they didn't freak out on you, and if I know them which I do I know that they're good kids and Alex is probably not going to be a part of your group anymore. And if Elliot is who I think he is he is probably already dealing with him, in his own way," Matthew says like it's nothing and keeps eating. 

"I don't think I wanna know," Lizzie says and look at him. 

"For the sake of your marriage I think that's best," I nod and eat my food. 

The rest of the day went smoothly, Matthew went home to shower, change and get his laptop so he could get some work done while Lizzie and Scarlett stayed with me, the doctor came in twice to check both my blood and if the medication I had gotten in my IV was working which it was. 

Matthew came back around at 2 pm and he had cake with him for all of us which I actually threw up. Scarlett left at 6 pm because she had to go home to her cats and feed them but said she would call me later and be back tomorrow morning when I get released. 

Lizzie send Matthew home at 9 pm and got a bed set up for her in my room. She had her computer and had some grading and some papers to do which I let her do, she even let me grade some of the papers which were fun and weird at the same time. I got to grade both Ellie and Caspers, and knowing them they were at completely opposite ends of the grading chart which didn't surprise me or Lizzie. 

We watched a movie and went to bed around 11 Pm and a night nurse came in around 2 am to get some blood, other than that it went smoothly and they told me I could go home tomorrow morning, which I also told Scarlett when she called me while Lizzie and I were watching the movie. 



Sorry, it's short. I love you, take care<3


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