The Last of White Dawn

Chapter 8: Show me Something

My eyes flutter open in the still-dark room. The sun hasn't risen above the horizon yet but I can feel the gentle heat of the day beginning. Sebastien is still snoring behind me, his arm locked around my waist and his open-palmed hand against my abdomen like I might make a break for it at any moment. Instead, I am reveling in the feeling of his skin against mine as my shirt has risen up to reveal my stomach at some point in the night. I sigh softly and contemplate going back to sleep for a few more hours; but with all the rest I've been getting and none of the training I am used to, I have found sleep less and less appealing as time wears on.

Titan, I call out softly through the strained family link. There is no answer, only my own voice echoing back to me. I'm safe. I am heading East, away from the vampires.

It's pointless, Lux whines in my head. I already know that my attempts to contact my brother are futile. But I can't stop yet; I need to know that I tried to contact him. Even if there was no one left to receive it. When I go back to the moon to see my parents and my brother again, I need to be able to tell him I didn't forget him or leave his memory behind for some adventure.

I found someone to help me. He's good Titan. Tyran would approve of him. I am going to make a new home and remember my old one. I am going to make you proud. My eyes watered as the echo fed my words back to me. May the moon take you home, brother.

The ache in my chest was nothing compared to the pressure of the lump in my throat as I tried desperately to keep the tears at bay. I knew that Tyran was gone; and yet, I couldn't let him go. The one we love leave so easily, and the love we have for them remains.

For the first time since I left home, I allow myself to think of my parents. I close my eyes and imagine I am back in my own bed, my eyes still heavy with sleep after the long day of training before. The sun isn't above the horizon yet but my mother is in the kitchen trying to quietly start breakfast so we can eat before our morning runs. I can almost hear her humming in the distance as she cracks eggs. The humming only stops when the heavy footsteps of my father reach the kitchen and silence her with their good morning kiss. I cringe with a smile because, at the very least, my parents haven't forgotten to love one another in all the years they have been mated. They talk softly and pour the coffee. The scent rises me from my pillowy bed and propels me to put on my leggings, a hoodie, and running shoes. Somehow, in this memory, I don't mind the early mornings, regardless of my constant bellyaching about them. My mind is focused on one thing: I want to see their faces, one last time.

I round the corner of the stairs and slip into the kitchen to see them already sitting at the breakfast nook by the window with the steaming cups in their hands. They both turn and smile at me, making my heart ache. I see my father's slowly greying hair and my mother's dimples as though they were always there; as though they were still there. It's heartbreaking and comforting at the same time.

The rising sun behind them seems to triple in intensity making me squint. I lose sight of their faces in the moment. When the light dies down again, they are gone. Even my memories cannot hold them here in my reality. A tear rolls the length of my cheek, over my nose and falls onto the pillow under me.

It's okay to grieve, Lux reassures me. I'm almost tempted to roll my eyes at the obvious statement, but it makes me feel better. The pressure in my chest loosens slightly as I force myself to take steady breaths. I may not have my family, but I have Seb and right now, that's just as good as family to me.

I refuse to move from the bed and wake him from his apparently peaceful slumber regardless of the itch I feel to go for a morning run and clear my head. I know that he has been tossing and turning most nights. To reach out and feel him relaxed and content is enough to keep me stilled for the time being. I settle for reviewing the plan for the day in my head several times to make sure I understand it. Of course, I'm reviewing it with only myself, and if it's wrong, I have no one to correct me. So, this too is pointless.