The Last of White Dawn

Chapter 6: Distractions

The silence between Sebastien and I is heavy today as we make our way through the last of the woods and into a small town. The sign along the side of the road reads: Mason, a magical place to live. I sigh at it, thinking the humans don't understand the first thing about magic or the supernatural. They don't understand commitment to the survival of community that witches, wolven, and even vampires must have in order to survive. Before I was exposed to them, I thought that humans were just like us. I figured that they were less prone to blood associations and bonding; but otherwise, just the same. In the short time I have been able to study them, I have discovered exactly why my father thought exposing us to humans wasn't necessary. They are a kind of species destined for destruction. They don't care for one another in the slightest. They hold almost no regard for others of their kind. Today I saw a man shove another aside just to get on a small subway train and park himself in one of the seats. Three days was all it took among humans for me to miss the life of the pack.

Regardless of the relief I feel in knowing that we will be back among wolves tomorrow, I have continued to be petrified at the idea of having to reveal myself to Seb. All day I have been going back and forth between talking to him before we change or waiting until it's too late for him to send me away. I know in my heart the right thing to do is to tell him now while he still has a chance to ask me to leave so I don't jeopardize his chance at a new pack. But I desperately want to remain with him. It's that strange and unsettling pull he was talking about the other day. I've tried to pass off the overwhelming need to remain with him as part of my grief up to this point but I am starting to doubt myself. Maybe there is something more to this that I am just missing.

"Are you alright back there?" Seb asks for the hundredth time today.

"Yes, I'm alright," I mutter back and try to pick up the pace so I am walking with him instead of tailing behind.

"You've been quiet today," Seb doesn't really phrase it as a question but he lifts his eyebrow with the implication.

"Sorry." I don't want to offer a lame, half-baked excuse.

"Thinking about your family?"

I almost lose my footing. That wasn't at all the question I was expecting. Maybe it would buy me some time to figure out how to tell him what was really bothering me. I nodded my head slowly. "Yeah, just a little."

"It's okay to miss them, you know?"

Gee thanks. "Yeah, I know."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Maybe we can talk about something else?"

"Need a distraction?"

"Constantly. Don't you?"

His face hardens, his jaw clenching, making his face look angry. I know better than that though, he's trying to avoid his own feelings. "I find distraction easily," is his half-assed response.

"Tell me more about Alpha Ark?"

"Ah, that is a good question. I have lots to say on the subject," I see his jaw relax and know I have served my purpose. "I grew up with Michael. We were really good playmates once upon a time. He was always the captain of the teams when we were playing football or... well really anything that was team-based. He never liked being told what to do. We thought he was going to be mated to his girlfriend in high school. You should have seen the two of them together-."

Sebastien drags on his conversation with himself but I can't focus on what he's saying. Instead, I keep my eyes down on the road ahead of me.

I have to tell him tonight.