Failed mission, Successfully. (ErwinXLevi)

12

Levi pov my loves<3 -
(Self harm references, Breakdown and overall angsty. It does go quite in detail on the self harm but not for too long.)
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Evergreen (You Didn't Deserve Me At All) - Omar Apollo 🎶 🎧
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"Perv." I muttered, pushing him off as I quickly left his room. My mind drifting to everything that could go wrong during the raid, "Just go away Erwin." I furrowed my brows, as much as i've grown a 'liking' to the man, I don't want to be close to anyone. Not again.

I had offered to go multiple, MULTIPLE, times. Yet Erwin wouldn't let me, something about my squads' death.

"Tsk, dumb old man." I headed back to my room, quickly closing the door and sitting on the floor against the wall. Something about the comfort of being on the floor against a wall was always what I needed.

Erwin isn't wrong though. I don't want to see the female titan.. Annie, again. I'm sure i'd live though. He made it sound as if I couldn't do it. He had the condescending glare in his eyes yet serious and stern enough for me to just leave it alone.

I look down at my arms, almost faded, healed, scars from self harm.

'I haven't cut in so long. I just want to feel it once more, then i'll stop forever.'

I shake my head, my eyebrows furrowing at the thought. My stomach filled with butterflies, along with that anxious feeling that keeps people on their tiptoes.

-(Sh starts here for the most part)

I groan, "it'll be fast. No one has to know" I sigh, leaning over to my desk drawer, pulling out a small pocket knife. It was sharp, almost like a piece of glass, that is if it had been perfectly shaped.

I drag the blade across my skin, pressing into my arm with force. I bite my lip, yet I hardly feel the pain. Fucking high pain tolerance can go fuck itself.

I watch the liquid red blood drip out of the line, it poured out quite quickly as it dripped down on my leg. I repositioned myself so that I was sitting on my legs, my thighs pushed together tightly.

I quickly make another cut, deeper. I mentally curse to myself realizing it was so close to my wrist, it probably hit my vein.

The blood leaking out fast as it drips and drips. Though it doesn't hurt, my body still reacts accordingly. The room spinning making me want to throw up.

I gag as I force the feeling down, looking at my arm that is heavily coating itself in blood.

-(Most Sh isn't as in detail but still talked about, Thank you.)

My thoughts are shaken away by a soft yet firm knock at my door.

I feel my heartbeat speed up more than it should, It feels as if it's going up into my throat.

"Levi.?" I groan, making me gag. Hearing that it was Erwin made it all the much worse. I try to push myself off the wooden floor, immediately being hit with the full extent of the dizzy and nauseous feeling. I reach to grab my desk, my hand scraping on the corner, just missing the desk as I fall against the floor with a loud thud.

My thoughts go blank as my head hits against the floor making me groan, the pounding fitting in perfectly with the dizziness.

"Levi!" Erwin practically is shouting, knocking on the door harder for a response.

I open my mouth to talk but when I was about to say anything it felt as if i'd just throw up the heart stuck in my throat. I don't particularly feel like throwing my organs up so I quickly shut my mouth.