Failed mission, Successfully. (ErwinXLevi)

07

Levi's pov:

I lay on my bed looking at the ceiling for what feels like hours. The ticking of the clock just keeps going, never getting tired or quieter. I've been laying here, recovering for almost a week and a half.

The room silent, a tense silence. The ticking clock, my chest rising and falling in sync with the clock, most of the time.

My mind drifting back to my near death experience, The tight grip around my body, the feeling of it still lingering. The way I clung to my blade's handle.

why did I let go?

I let my body fall limp, I gave up.

My head spiraling, though I wasn't even walking, I was dizzy as if I had just stood up to fast.

A million thoughts at once, Yet I can't seem to not drift back to Furlan and Isabel. God, did I miss those two.

The way Isabel always managed to have a smile on her face, either that or she was pouting over the stupidest thing. Her red bangs that fell perfectly on her face. The way her eyes lit up when she was outside for the first time.

Furlan's calm and collective behavior always seeming to match mine, if not more. A big difference is Furlan could always lighten up, he'd always tell me to laugh more with him and Isabel. Furlan was always more levelheaded than Isabel though.

The two people I trusted most, the world couldn't even let me have that. If only it was just the Military Police instead of the Survey Corps that day. Maybe i'd be sitting with the two over tea while they laughed at some stupid joke that wasn't even funny.

I wouldn't be laying here with broken ribs, and if I did, i'd have the two right there. Isabel would probably complain at the fact I couldn't just get up and go mess around with her and Furlan, Yet she would also refuse to leave me.

Furlan would be the one who would have to go out and get food, he'd make me tea and sit and have a conversation, unlike Isabel who'd probably just sleep on me.

I snapped out of my thoughts feeling the all unfamiliar water dripping down my face. Was I.. really, crying?

I winced as I sat up, bringing a hand to my face to wipe the tear off my cheek. Yet it wouldn't go away, it was like no matter what I did it just kept coming back.

I stood up walking to the bathroom, my reflection practically taunting me. My nose was slightly red and runny, like if I was sick. Tears flooding in my eyes and shooting down my cheeks. My dull blue, often just said as gray, eyes looked sore, wether it was lack of sleep or crying.

Why can't I just stop..

I closed my eyes, glimpses of Furlan's and Isabel's death flooding my mind. It was like I was being stabbed through the heart. I leaned my body against the closed bathroom door, freely letting the tears fall.

It was as if every person I knew, that has died, is pulling me down. It's almost like a heavy blanket that is suffocating you rather then making you feel comfortable and warm. They are drowning me.

The blood that I can never clean off practically snickering at me. As if all my dead comrades are praying on my downfall. Hell, maybe they are. I just got lucky with that titan. I almost wish I didn't.

I quickly shook my head, walking over to the sink and splashing water onto my face.

Fuck, I'm just tired, i'm delusional and making stuff up. I'm overthinking this, losing my calm. I can't go insane yet.

I wiped my face dry, taking a few deep breaths. My bangs wet from the water making them stick to my forehead.

"I just need to lay down, just for a little. Is that okay with you guys? Just stop taunting me, for a minute." I whispered, maybe this was giving into the delusion.

I quickly shut off the lights, laying back down on my bed. I curled into a ball as my eyelids grew heavy, finally getting the sleep I longed for.

~~~

"Levi. Levi!" My eyes shot open to Hange, Erwin, and Eld standing over me. I quickly pushed myself up into a sitting position.

"He's alive!" Hange smiled, their hands resting on their hips.

"Of course i'm alive! I was sleeping." I snapped at her, Her smile dropping. The guilt rushing over me like it was injected into my blood directly. "Hange- I'm sorry, I didn't. Fucking hell." I mumbled, turning my head away.

"Levi can apologize?" Eld chuckled making my cheeks flush softly but I quickly pushed it down snapping back at him, "Shut up!".

My gaze moved up to Erwin, Locking eyes with him.

"I think we should tell him." Hange whispered, shoving herself against Erwin. Fuck, she really does need to learn personal space, especially with titans.

The room going silent like the night before, the clock's ticking growing a small annoyance in my mind.

"Hange stole two titans." Eld finally said, breaking the silence.

"I didn't steal! I rehomed!" Hange protested, crossing her arms.

My eyes slightly widened, "You mean.. you put titans. inside the walls?!" My eyebrows were slightly furrowed as I grew slightly angered.

"Well they are like tied down. Sawney and Bean will cause you no trouble! Just for my experiments." Hange smiled proudly, her eyes filled with hearts.

"You named them?" I sighed, groaning as I ran a hand through my hair. Erwin simply leaned against the doorframe letting us talk.

"Yes, but wait till you hear what I learned! You wanna hear?" Their eyes growing bright and blush spreading on her cheeks.

If this woman could have sex with a titan, they probably would.

I move my hand in a circular motion, urging her to continue, rolling my eyes.

"Sawney, She's a 4 meter. I believe she actually can't even feel pain! Isn't that crazy? After about an hour of sunlight deprivation she lost all activity." Hange smiled, practically jumping. "She exhibited little intelligence and even ignored a spear being driven into her heart!"

"I think that's cause she had the chance to eat you.." Eld softly whispered, I think all of us had heard it though.

"And Bean?" I asked, clearing my throat.

"Ah, Bean! She also had little intelligence as well. She was taller than Sawney, 7 meters. She actually showed some kind of communication by trying to eat me!" Hange smiled, a little too wide, especially for that last part. "It took three hours before Bean lost activity from sunlight deprivation, A little longer than Sawney."

"Okay, At least you're getting information I guess.." I scoffed.

"Oh! And we took Trost back successfully, but who cares about that when I have these cute titans!" Hange's blush coming back to her face as she smiled.

"And Eren is doing good with his titan form?" I questioned, looking to Erwin as I don't think Hange would listen if it wasn't about her two freaks.

"Yes, He did alright. We had a small mishap that was all resolved, it went pretty smoothly." Erwin finished.

I simply nodded.

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