Chapter 47

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I woke up to the smell of coffee in the morning. I could hear Chuck in the kitchen and I laid in bed as I heard him cooking. As much as my stomach wanted me to get up for food, I felt defeated from last night. The anxiety and sadness inside me left me feeling like I was pinned to the mattress from the weight of them.

A soft knock sounded on the door and Chuck cracked it open before opening it all the way. I forced myself to sit up in bed.

"You're up," he said, his tone surprised. "I brought you tea." He set a mug down on nightstand next to me.

"Thank you," I said softly. I grabbed the mug and took a sip. It was my favorite peach tea.

"Did you sleep okay?" He asked me, as he stood at the foot of the bed, holding his coffee mug awkwardly. I shrugged.

"Did you?" I asked. He shrugged in response. We stared at each other for a few moments, both of us unsure what to say next. A beep sounded from the kitchen and Chuck headed out of the room. I took another sip of tea and then forced myself to get out of bed. I disappeared upstairs and washed my face and brushed my teeth before joining Chuck in the kitchen. He slid a plate with eggs and avocado and a bagel over to me.

"Thank you, you didn't have to do this," I said.

"No problem," he said. I sat down and started eating, trying to ignore the tension between us. We ate in silence.

"I'm sorry about last night," Chuck said as I got up and cleared my plate.

"I'm sorry too," I said softly. I was sorry but I was also hurt. I loaded dishes into the dishwasher in silence, trying to focus on something other than the tension between us.

"I want to make it up to you, the right way," he said. I sighed as I started the dishwasher.

"I don't know what that's supposed to mean," I said.

"Will you look at me, please?" He asked me. I looked up at him. Chuck's blue eyes were clouded with emotion and dark circles surrounded them like he hadn't slept all night. I quickly looked away once I realized my eyes were watering with tears.

"I'm going to go," I said softly. I made my way out of the kitchen and started heading upstairs to grab my things.

"Winona, wait, please," Chuck called. I heard him run up the stairs after me as I went into his closet. I grabbed my clothes from his hangers and started throwing them into my overnight bag. They all wouldn't fit but I needed to get as many of them in there as possible.

"Winona, don't do that," he said as he followed me back into the closet.

"Chuck, I can't do this anymore," I said. I blinked back tears as I threw in another handful of my clothes. "I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough, like I'm not worthy of you or your love, and like I'm being used."

I reached for another handful of my clothes and Chuck grabbed my hands.

"Winona, I....I love you," he said. As the words left his mouth I felt like my whole body went weightless and my ears started ringing.

"W...what?" I stammered. Chuck stepped towards me and turned me away from the clothes I was trying to pack. 

"I love you," he said. "You are the most incredible woman I've ever met and I'm not deserving of your love. You have the most beautiful soul, the kindest heart and are just absolutely amazing to me every single day since I first saw you that first day in my class."

"I have been completely in love with you since I laid my eyes on you and I never thought that someone as beautiful as you could love someone like me," he said. Chuck's fingers gently wiped away tears I hadn't realized were falling from my eyes.

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