Untouchable (H2OVanoss)

Ghost in the Room

Small Recap:

Evan believed that if Jon really cared about their friendship he would of fought for it, and tried to fix it. Hearing Jon just let everything go, ticked him off.

Evan got up and yelled, "Are you fucking serious? Is that what you actually want?" Jon's face turned red. "No, I don't want that at all. I'm just not going to beg for someone to be my fucking friend!"

"Del, I've been trying to keep up with you and you haven't even took noticed. You're so lost in your own world that you dont even appreciate what I do."

"I didn't ask you to come here."

"Well here I am. I'm here and not for long, man."

"Evan, I'm-"

"I really did try. And you didn't even give me half the effort." Evan sighs, "I just wanted to help you. I wanted to be the person that you can go to, because you were my person to go to."

Jon stands in still, almost statue like. Then finally sighs and sits at the end of bed.

"You're my go to person. But there's just one thing that I can't let go of, and I can't tell you." Jon buries his face in his hands and mumbles out, "You're my bestfriend, and I can't lose you."
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3rd Pov:

Evan sighs and shakes his head. Jon uncovers his face, with a build up of tears in his eyes. "You mean too much for me to lose and I know I can lose you if I-" Jon stops himself. The room cold and silent, with rain hitting the window, and soft snuffles from Jon. Evan sits next to Jon at the edge of the bed and stares down at his hands. "I can only do so much, huh?" Evan asks.

Jon's Pov:

"I can only do so much, huh?" I look at Evan, and he has a small smile. Why? Why is he smiling? Does he enjoy seeing me this way? Weak and pathetic. We sit in silence. I want to tell him. I think I need to tell him. I just don't know how he'll think of me. I need to get it off my chest. It's too much to handle alone. I'm drowning in my thoughts. Please, why am I alone? I like you, and I've always have.

"I know you feel alone right now, I've always felt alone with my inner self. It's a battle that you'll have to fight, or else it'll eat you all up inside." Evan says with a sad expression on his face. "Please tell me, what's eating you up, Jon." He stares at me, then looks back at his hands that were pressed together so tightly. I want to reach out to his hands. But can I do that?

Evan's Pov:

Seeing Jon sad, and on the verge of tears. I can't watch. He's in pain. I can't look at him. Even a glimpse makes me angry with myself. I'm his best-friend and I don't know the cause of his depression. He won't say it out loud but I know he's hurt. I clear my throat and mutter, "I can't really explain it, but it kills me to see you like this. I want to help you and I want to be here for you." I turn my head a bit to see his reaction, tears slightly rolling down his cheek. What is he thinking right now? Was that too much? I look away knowing that the tightness in my chest will come back to me if I stare too long.

"I need to know something before I say this," Jon mumbled. My heart drops, now he has me nervous. What could it be?

"Okay"

"I've always admire you, you're so cool, calm, and funny and-" Jon stops himself. Almost covering his mouth. He looks at me, and he seems embarrassed. I nod, hoping that he'll continue what he was trying to say because, my heart won't stop racing.

He uncovers his mouth, "But it's more that just admiration, and at first I thought it was jealously."

Where is Jon going with this?

"It's a just a little feeling that's all" Jon says, quietly.

"What's the feeling?" I ask

"I'm- not sure yet."

Jon's Pov:

It's happening. But it's too soon. My words, they're just spilling all out. Stop it! Please just stop. I'm drowning, and I wonder if he can tell. At this point, I think I'm on auto pilot. Dissociating from reality. If anything it's probably the best for me. I sigh and clear my throat. I turn to him, barely making him out in the darkness of it all. I can't believe I'm about to do this.

"I- care about you."

Shit.

"I care about you too man" Evan says.

No that's not all, say more. It's more than that.

"But it's more than just that-"

My heart it won't stop, my hands feel so cold, I don't know what's going to happen next but as long as it all over in the end. I just need to get this over with.

"I like you"

No. It slipped out.

I begin to stutter out random sentences that didn't matter to what had really been said. At least it wasn't "I love you." That's all that matters to me. The worst part of it all, was that there was no reaction to him. He didn't flinch a muscle after those three words I had said. Why?

After I stopped embarrassing myself, I throw myself back into the bed and cover my eyes with my arms. I don't care anymore. Even now, in this dark room with Evan sitting next to me, I don't care what he thinks. It's out now. The cat's out of the bag. It's fucking over. I lose him. My best friend. And now silence between us.