I miss you ~ Plasma (Ninjago)

Chapter 2 because I still suck at titles

Still Jay's POV hehe

I open my eyes and it takes at least half a minute for everything to come back to me. As soon as it does, I want to shoot up, but find it hurts too much. I want to call for help, but my voice is gone. I try to figure out where I am, although I can't see much.

I think I'm in some kind of hut, let's say igloo. It feels like I'm lying on something soft; a bed, probably. From outside, I hear voices and the rustling of a fire. I must be in some kind of village.

But how did I get here?

AND HOW IN THE HELL DID I SURVIVE THAT FALL?

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Kai's POV

It's been two weeks. The memorial service is tomorrow. Still not many people know Jay and I were dating; only Lloyd, Jay's parents (Jay told them after I gave him permission to) and Skylor (she figured it out on her own when Jay and I went on a date at her restaurant, after which we decided not to go on dates in public anymore).

I'm planning on saying a few words at the memorial service. And telling everyone we were dating. For Jay, because he'd been wanting to for three months, and for myself, to finally get it off my chest.

I still haven't had a day I didn't cry about it at least thrice.

Baby steps, I guess.

People went looking for Jay's body. I didn't want to go; I didn't know what seeing him like that would do to me. But they didn't find it. Said he was probably eaten by wolves or a bear or something. I really wish they hadn't said that.

My brain can't seem to understand that he's gone. Keeps feeling like he's gonna come back, or that he's gonna say something when we're eating, or that he's gonna get mad at me when I ruin his new training bot, or that he's gonna destroy another controller when I beat him AGAIN in... literally any game. But he won't.

I'm so mad at everything. At the universe. I keep just wanting to run into the forest at night and kick down a tree or something. I keep thinking, 'what the hell did I do to deserve this?', then realizing not everything is about me and thinking, 'what the hell did he do to deserve this?'.

Lloyd got me to get an appointment with a therapist. Said if I won't tell him everything, I'll have to tell somebody else. I refused at first, but then decided to just do it. Don't have a lot to lose, do I?

I've been thinking about what I'm gonna say at the memorial. What I could possibly say, when all I can really think of is the cruel way this happened. Out of nowhere. Obviously, being a ninja is risky, but we've been doing it all these years, haven't we? None of us ever died. Well, that's not entirely true. None of us ever died without reviving later. Like Cole said; we always somehow make it. So what was the universe's plan by doing this? Make me feel guilty? The guilt isn't new, just stronger. If the goal was to make me feel like shit, the goal was reached. But WHY?

"Hey, Kai?" It's Lloyd. "Are you okay?"

"I have literally no reason to be okay."

"I just mean, maybe you're a little better than yesterday? Probably not, huh. It's been two weeks now..." He says, voice dry. "Just wanted to check in on you." He rests his body against the doorframe and looks at me, wanting a response.

"You've been doing that a lot."

"Well, yeah..."

"I don't need you to. You got me an appointment with a therapist already, why do you feel the need to 'check in on me'?"

"You're my best friend, I care about you. If there's anything I can do to help, I want to. Especially right now."

"You wanna help?" I ask in a way I can't even pinpoint myself. "If you wanna help, just leave me alone until I figure out what I'm supposed to do with myself now that everything I had is gone." The calm, threatening way I say it disturbs even myself. I can see I hurt Lloyd, but I don't want to apologize right now. I stare him down until he leaves.

Great. I suck as a person.

I break down for the second time today.

Who decided I got this life?

Off to a great start with my parents abandoning Nya and I when we're little. We pick up our lives somehow, raise ourselves, and suddenly Wu comes along to tell me I'm gonna be a ninja. Which is awesome, but dangerous as hell. And then I'm stupid enough to think I'm the Green Ninja, and can't hide my anger when I'm not. It was a burden for longer than I'd like to admit. My life was never really 'worth it' at all, except for when I was dating Jay, but that's just... over now.

At first, I lived because Nya needed me. I don't know what we would've done without each other.

Then, I lived for the sake of Ninjago; I had to protect it, my duty as a ninja.

And then I finally found something to live for that made me happy, but he's gone.

So what do I have now?

Word count - 889

Well shit.

It's shorter than the last one, I know, I know.

Hope you enjoyed and all that, suggestions still open, corrections always, and ask questions if you have them

Toodles peepzelz

(oof my autocorrect wants to turn 'peepzelz' into 'zeppelin')