Evelyn's Pendant

epilogue

one week later

I feel myself having deja vu as I swipe a bead of sweat off my forehead while packing my things. After this, I'm not moving for a long time - it's too exhausting. Plus, it's losing it's fun as I'm no longer finding anything new that I haven't seen in a while in my stuff. I could probably name off each pair of jeans I have - their exact brand and the number of holes each one has in the knees, as well as every color of acrylic paint I have in my box of painting materials. Once I don't find any articles of clothes I haven't seen in a while that I've missed, it loses its excitement - packing has become more and more of a chore. I just hope this time, I've made the right decision.

After thinking for the past week, going back and forth between Theo's apartment and my parents house, and talking with all of them and weighing all the pros and cons - I've decided to move back home. Parts of me wants to say that going to college here was a mistake, but it wasn't. I learned more than what classes and textbooks would ever teach me.

I learned about myself. I learned about Evelyn and her past. I made a new great friend - the hyperactive girl with sapphire hair that makes the best pancakes I've ever tasted. Speaking of, where is she? She was supposed to be helping me pack in here.

I learned how resilient I can be, even when things seem impossible to overcome. That one time that I thought things were too hard, I thought I was making a good decision when I jumped from that ledge. I now know that it wasn't the right decision and I was lucky to survive by some miracle. Part of me wants to believe that Evelyn was my guardian angel that night. She always believed in me even more than I ever have, even after she died. She knew I wasn't ready to leave the Earth quite yet - I had too much unfinished business and too many opportunities that I would have missed out on. I thank her for that, for I wouldn't have Theo in my life.

No matter how resentful I am at the fact that she kept so many secrets from me, I have to remember her good intentions. She was keeping me safe, protecting me. Hazel was right, I was way too impressionable at that age. Since I looked after her so much, I would have followed right in her footsteps like a lost puppy. I didn't have mom or dad's guidance, she was all I had. Sort of like a she's doing it so it must be okay type of mentality. I didn't know better. Although, when she died, that's exactly who I turned out to be. I turned to drugs and alcohol, just like she did. Unfortunately, she couldn't protect me forever. I had to learn for myself.

I'm taken out of the depths of my mind by the sound of a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I say as I take the last shirt off of a hanger in my closet.

"Hey, sorry about that!" Mia says, rolling up her sleeves. "What can I start with?"

I point over to my vanity. "Why don't you start over there?"

She gives me a thumbs up and makes her way over there, bringing a box with her. "I love him," she sputters.

I let out a chuckle. "I'm glad I got your approval, Mia. I hope you didn't give him too much of a hard time," I say while taping up the box of clothes.

Mia turns to face me. "I didn't try to! He's just so interesting, being a psychiatric nurse and stuff. I could learn a lot from him!"

"I'll make sure to invite you over some times to talk all things Psychology with him," I wink at her.

"I still can't believe that he was your nurse at the hospital," she says while packing up my makeup. "I can only imagine the level of trust you have for him after he witnessed you in your most vulnerable place."

I give her a look, narrowing my brows at her. "Yeah, like when I was completely insane?"

"I mean that in the best way possible!"

I laugh. "I know, just giving you shit. He has a lot of patience and understanding, that's for sure. I've also wondered myself why and how he managed to stick around. I was not the most fun person to be around when I first got there."

"Just says a lot about his character," she says while returning her attention back to packing.

I look down and smile at her words as I move on to packing up my painting supplies. I know how lucky I am. This is the first thing in my life in a while that I'm going to try my best not to fuck up.

"Ready?" Theo asks while he puts his truck in drive.

I nod, looking out the window to my former apartment and it slowly starts to pass me by. I feel emotional leaving behind everything that I had here, but also excited to leave this place for good. I'm going to miss Hannah, since she is staying here to finish her degree and move on with her life. She deserves it after everything I put her through. Plus, she has Chase here. I'm excited for her and what staying in Seattle will do for her future. I feel guilty for leaving Mia without a roommate, but I'm sure she'll find a new one soon that will enjoy her cooking and bright mind as I have. We have each others numbers so this isn't quite goodbye.

I had no business staying around here. I rediscovered my love for painting, and that's something I don't see myself needing school for. It would be a waste of money, of course, but on top of that, I'll have constant reminders of the trauma that I went through at this school. That includes run-ins with the Dissidents. I'll miss a couple of them, including Cody, but the rest of them really didn't care about me, not to name a certain someone in particular. He doesn't deserve to be in my thoughts, so I promise myself that that's the last time I'll give him the time of day in my head.

My reminiscing is interrupted in the best way possible, with a touch of Theo's warm hand against my bare thigh. I look over at him and see that he's keeping his eyes on the road, but has a warm smile on his face. We don't say anything as I scoot over in my seat and lean my head on his shoulder. He squeezes my thigh in reassurance and I feel more at peace than I ever have with any other decision I have made in my life.

I just hope my parents will support this one for once, for they're about to officially meet him after our many-hour drive.

Can't wait.

to be continued