Evelyn's Pendant

21.

I take a deep breath as I'm guided out of the facility by Miranda. She doesn't say anything as I meet up with my parents, and neither do they. I see that my mom's crystal blue eyes are glistening from tears and my father gives me a sad smile. I don't run up to them and give them hugs like a normal person, I don't cry from seeing them again, I just say goodbye to Miranda and walk with my parents to the car, letting them guide me with their hands lightly touching the small of my back.

The ride home is long and tortuously silent, except for the few interruptions of my mother's sniffles and the low noise coming from the radio. I tap my fingers on my knees and anxiously await to see who says the first words, whether it be one of them, or me. I don't dare say anything, plus I wouldn't know what to say anyways. Do I apologize? Do I scream? Just staying silent now seems like the best option, for now.

We finally pull into the driveway of our house. I slowly let go of the pendant that has left my hand sore from grasping it so hard again; I get so lost in my head with anxiety that I never notice how hard I'm grabbing it, which has become one of the many habits that I've developed over the past few months. I'm pretty sure I have scars on my hands from it. I reach for the handle of the backseat door and slowly get out of the car and see that my parents are waiting for me already. Still - no words have been said between us since they picked me up and the silence is frightening.

Once we get into the house I immediately head up towards my room, leaving my parents in the kitchen. I close my door behind me and look for my hidden pack of cigarettes in the sock drawer of my dresser. I have been waiting for this moment since Tess and I had a few on the rooftop of the facility. I look around my room and notice that it's full of moving boxes - everything that was in my apartment at school. I groan out of frustration and light my cigarette with the lighter I'd hidden in the pack. I was supposed to go back to school as soon as possible, why the hell is my stuff here?

I blow smoke out of my window before throwing the butt out the window and trudge downstairs with anger burning in my throat. "Why the hell is my stuff here?" I say loudly as I go down the stairs. I don't get a response, so I look for my mom. Both she and dad are sitting together in the living room watching TV. "Hello?" I say, annoyed.

"Sit down, Lillian," my dad says.

"No, I was supposed to go back to school! Why is my stuff here?" I repeat. My mom stays silent and I roll my eyes. "Mom!"

"Lilly," my mom says. "Sit down and talk to us. Please stop yelling," she says as she massages her temples.

I huff as I sit on the edge of the couch across from them, bouncing my legs. I've been wondering when they would break their silence, and now I'm even more nervous. "Well?"

My parents both simultaneously move to the edge of the couch, holding hands. My dad takes a deep breath and looks me in the eyes.

"Your stuff is home because your heart stopped beating for almost two minutes, Lilly." Two minutes? I felt like I was with Evelyn for at least an hour... "We didn't know how long you were going to be in that coma for either, so we had your stuff sent home."

I take a breath to start talking, but my dad interrupts me. "Before you get upset, we talked to your doctor and we know about you wanting to go back to school, and will send back your stuff when you are ready."

I let out my breath slowly and start to become a little calmer.

"But we're still worried about you. It's not going to be easy to send you back to a place that made you want to do that to yourself," my mom says.

"Who said I wanted to?" I say in defense. "I had no choice!"

"You always have a choice!" My mom screams. "What were you thinking and how dare you?"