[𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄]
𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐍 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒
30 Months...
Almost three years since my accident. My first game playing pro in the NHL and I blew it. Many people have tried to help me but I'm past giving a fuck now. I just want to be left alone to drink my s...
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I blow bubbles in the water.
Lucas is playing the the garden with Ronan while I continue to make the little party bags for his birthday today.
My little boy is three. Where has all that time gone? Sometimes I feel like he is slipping through my fingers, growing so quickly that I can't catch him and keep him close. All morning we have been setting the garden up for his little party this afternoon. Everyone is coming and I know he is going to actually enjoy this one.
It was the one thing I wanted for him after his second birthday.
The room is silent and for a moment I think he might actually leave us alone.
It's Lucas's birthday.
"-Upstairs?" Ronan's voice echos through the kitchen. I blink the memories away and shake my head at him, "Yeah?"
He takes that as his answer and instead quickly places a kiss to my check before making his way upstairs.
I plead with him, not when Lucas is here.
He doesn't listen.
I want to make this birthday special and I also want to remember Milo at the end of the day. I never got too last year. Lucas had opened some of his presents from me and Ronan this morning. Of course most of it was involving all things dinosaurs, cars and ice hockey.
However one thing I had to set up last night with Ronan is the spare bedroom. It was his very own dinosaur toddler bed. I thought he was ready for it and the look on his face this morning meant I had made the right decision.
"Can sleep now mommy?" He had asked climbing into it. When looking for one I wanted to make sure it was low to the ground in case he ever fell out. But knowing he loved it was the best feeling.
Sometimes being a mom you can feel like a failure, like nothing you ever do will ever be enough. Other times, other times you nail it. That was one of those times.
Putting the last keychain with Lucas's face on a dinosaur into the bag I tie it up and place it into the 'dinosaur nest' I had made with Ronan last night. He has been amazing with helping me make everything, and I think he may have enjoyed it more than he let on.
I smile and place them aside before making my way to the back door, opening it up I step out expecting to see Lucas and Ronan. Yet I'm met with silence. Frowning I turn in a circle and briefly remember Ronan mentioning something about upstairs.
