[𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄]
𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐍 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒
30 Months...
Almost three years since my accident. My first game playing pro in the NHL and I blew it. Many people have tried to help me but I'm past giving a fuck now. I just want to be left alone to drink my s...
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I pace up and down, moving, gliding along the ice while I wait.
The air is cool and my heartbeat slows into a steady rhythm, being on the ice calms me. I miss it. A lot more than I ever thought I could, a lot more than I would ever probably admit.
I've been an idiot.
Who the fuck was I these past 2 years? Hockey is my life, has always been my life. Why was I prepared to throw it away like it meant nothing? Like it was a chore? It has been the only constant in my life, then it brought the only other constants in my life. Sloan and Mama Bertha, eventually Coach, Evanna and Mr Ronald Hill.
I have my own small family.
Something I never thought I could have no matter how many nights I spent sleeping on the floor with only a blanket to keep me warm, dreaming of what life could be like. Should be like.
The reality is, life sucks. It kicks your ass, laughs at you and carries on as if you weren't even a statistic on earth. So you mope, whine and blame anything else but yourself but once again the reality is completely different.
It's on you.
Funny that. Something so fucking simple yet takes us most of our lives to figure it out.
It's on you to pick yourself back up. It's on you to fight for yourself. It's on you keep up with the pace of the world. Fight or flight. Sink or swim.
It's on you.
Because who else is going to do it for you?
No one and i'm pissed it's taken me this long to realise it.
Fucking idiot I tell you.
So this morning I got to the rink early, spoke to Quinn and got a game plan in place. It's happening, i'm going back to play hockey, pro.
Did you hear that? P-R-O!
I've somehow still got my spot and I refuse to waste any more time or fuck up this spot, because I know that if I do Coach won't be able to vouch for me any longer. Now i'm left waiting for Shelby and Lucas to arrive for the little man's training session.
Looking over at the clock I frown upon realising they are 10 minutes late. Shelby is never late, no matter how chaotic the journey is to get there. Moving to get off the ice and grab my phone I don't miss the way I breath of a sigh of relief as they walk through the double doors.
