The Devil In You

Somebody Else

Suggested listening: flora cash - You're Somebody Else

The house was exactly as he remembered: a beautiful wooden refuge in the middle of the woods, but something was actually different: the flowers on the balconies were much more, and much more colourful. Hwoarang had put a lot of work for him to find their home at its best, there was no doubt. "It would be nice to let him know I noticed", thought Jin.

-You did great job with the flowers. They're splendid.

Hwoarang lightened up, like a little child praised by his mother. -I was wondering if you'd see them. I spent a lot of time on them. I wanted them to be at least as amazing as you. Hope I am up to your standards, that ain't easy for sure.- he looked at him with the most loving smile.

-No, I told you, they're breathtaking. Thanks for the surprise.- but his voice was monotonal, flat.

-Come inside, there's another thing I want to show you.

They arrived in front of the photos of their mothers, and Hwoarang proudly showed a new set of wooden frames, and colourful mix of kaneshons, ajisais and sakuras in the vases above them.

-I thought you would like them like this. You know, the colours, the significance... I thought our mothers deserved to know we love and respect them.

Jin knelt in front of his mother's picture, in silence, eyes closed. He stayed like that for more than five minutes, talking with his mind to the only woman he truly ever loved. Then, he stood up again, opening his eyes, and briefly telling Hwoarang -It's perfect. Perfect.

-Listen, Jin... it's almost lunch time, would you like me to cook something? Or maybe a good cup of tea? You wouldn't believe it, but in your absence, I actually learned how to use your teapot. The first tries weren't that good, but now I make a great tea! I'd love to show you.

-No tea, please. And, I'd like to cook myself, if that's not a problem.

-Of course not... I only thought you'd be tired. If not, all the better for you.

Hwoarang sat on the tatami, trying to shake off the sensation that something was wrong. "The man just got out of prison, it's only natural he's still messed up. He'll come to it, just give him time and space, but let him know you're there for him if he needs you. Patience, Hwoarang, patience".

They had lunch in complete, uncomfortable silence. Jin wouldn't even look the Korean in the face. The redhead was hurting, but he didn't want to be the center of the attention, and he knew everything Jin did had to have a reason. If only he would talk... but he was like a statue: beautiful, silent and, most of the time, still.

After lunch, Hwoarang tried once again to involve Jin in something to do together. -What would you like to do now? Go out somewhere in the city? Train here in the house? Whatever you want, I'm up to it.

But Jin wouldn't have it. -I was thinking of going for a walk in the woods, alone. I need to reconnect with nature, its spirit, to think.

-Oh... okay. I'll be here when you return, then. Have a good one.

Jin stayed away for more than two hours before he came back. When he entered the house, the unmistakable scent of brewed sencha tea permeated the air; Jin tightened his fists, and in a fit of rage shouted -I thought I said NO TEA!

-I... I thought to make you a surprise. I thought you didn't want it for lunch. You always loved tea, this is your favourite blend...

-And I did not ask you to make it. Drink it, throw the rest away, I'm not having a single sip.

-Jin. We need to talk. Do you realise we just had an almost brutal discussion about tea?

-And?

-And? Maybe there's something you need to tell me?

-I don't need to tell anybody anything. I don't know what you mean.

He dodged Hwoarang and went straight for the stairs, going for the gym. He trained for another two hours straight, until he was too tired to even lift an arm. He had a shower, changed to night clothes, and started cooking dinner. Hwoarang was incredulous, still thinking about all that scene for a cup of tea. There was something he didn't know, and it must have been big. But how could he help Jin if he kept everything inside, not talking even to him, his lover? They hadn't seen each other for a year, and that wasn't the reunion he thought it would have been. At all.

Again, they ate in silence, without eye contact. Hwoarang wasn't certainly famous for his patience, and he stormed upstairs, sitting on the bed, after changing himself too. He couldn't stand to be at the same table as Jin and not look him in the eyes. "It's torture, that's what it is. Did I do something wrong? Maybe the flowers were too much? Or should I have fought harder for the visits? But I tried to apply 12 times, and I was always denied... what else could I have done?" and while Hwoarang was lost in his thoughts, Jin entered the bedroom too.

-Can't wait to sleep on a proper mattress; my back still hurts.

-Come here; I'll make you a massage. You know I'm good for it.

Jin sat on the border of the bed, and Hwoarang started massaging his shoulder and back, which were as hard as a rock for basically sleeping on the floor for a year. After a while, the Korean hugged Jin from behind, smacking a kiss on his neck and whispering -I missed you.

The Japanese immediately stood up and said -Don't touch me like that!

-W-what...?

-Don't.

-Jin, what happened to you? Please, please, talk to me! You've been avoiding me all day!

-I CAN'T!

-Why?!

-Because if I do, it will make it real.

-It will... what will be real? Jin, please, you're scaring me!

-I can't. I can't. I can't.

He glided to the floor, and for the first time that day, he showed an emotion: he cried. He cried all the tears he couldn't cry in prison and during the episodes of violence. Hwoarang jumped off the bed and rushed to Jin, gently hugging him, caressing his hair.

-You're safe here now. You're safe. Whatever happened, you're safe. You're with me, your love, and I would never hurt you, not in a million years. What happened, Jin, please? Let me help you.

There was a terrible silence, disturbed only by some sighs.

-They raped me, Hwoarang... they raped me.